Sunday, October 30, 2005

Exam time

Exams blow goats. Hopefully one day, they will simply attach electrodes to your brain, analyse how much has sunk in, and then you get sent along your way.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Brazilliant

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes
by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident"
"OH DEAR GOD NO!!!" George W. Bush exclaims. "That's terrible!!" His
staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the
president sits, head in hands. Finally, the President, devastated, looks
up and asks.......... "How many is a Brazillion??!"

From bash.org

Parks and Park-age

A woman of colour in the Northern Territory, inspired by the passing of civil rights activist Rosa Parks, has today made headlines by standing up to what some see as unjustified seating segregation on public transport.

“I felt moved by Rosa, and to be honest, this was a long time coming,” said an enthused Ms Jones. “I don’t believe any one person has more right to a seat than another.”

According to the minister for transport, the seating rule of precedence is common in the Territory, and considered a matter of courtesy. “To my knowledge, we have never had a problem when people of certain traits are given priority,” he claimed today.

White socialite Jenine Craigwright, the instigator of the request, was quoted as being “dumbfounded” and was disturbed by the incident.

“When I was told to ‘expletive-off, you old cripple’, I was taken aback. The sign clearly labelled the seat to be offered to (the) disabled or elderly. The journey was quite difficult clinging to my Zimmer frame, but I managed.”



Rosa, I salute you.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Very Important Person

As Nguyen Tuong Van's case proves, some people are more important than others. The public may take a shining to one person, but not another. The reasons are complex, but I think I have gathered it into an algorithm. I call it:

The Human Value Index (HVI) for Australian society.

Firstly, all men are created equal. They start with a value of 1. Women, are not, and start at 0.8.

Secondly, race. (WHITE) times the number by 1, (OTHER) times the number by 0.3

Thirdly, wealth. Divide your annual earnings by 100,000, and multiply it by your current number thus far. (ie: 30,000 = n x 0.3, 100,000 = n x 1.0, etc)

Then, multiply this value by 2 if you are pretty, 1 for plain, 0.5 if ugly, or vary it along that scale.

Now, if you have a somewhat ethnic name (ie: not smith, jack, etc) multiply it by 0.6

Finally, if you are a doctor, or other person with any useful skills to society, multiply your value by 1.4

And hey presto - this is your total worth. Society should judge your life by this value.

Let's see how this works for Corby vs Nguyen.

Corby: 0.48
Nguyen: 0.05

As you can see from the results (with earnings at 30k for both), Corby is by far a more important person. Worth 10 Nguyen's in fact.

Bill Gates: 25,000
Me: 0.7

Anyone got a cure for cynicism??

Monday, October 24, 2005

R E S P E C T - just a little bit.

Disrespect to PM could lead to jail: Brown

"After this legislation is passed, if I urge you to be disaffectionate to Mr Howard and his government, that is illegal - potential jail sentence seven years," Senator Brown said.

So, once the legislation is passed, race to the nearest fridge and contact the authorities if anyone urges you to think any of the following thoughts:

Howard is a cunt.

Howard will always remain a cunt.

Howard hates workers.

Howard should be rectally probed by a marital aid for giants.

Howard is a little slimy shit.

Howard is a filthy rodent (no disrespect to rodents).

Howard thinks workers are scum.

Howard masturbates. With a rubber glove. Over pictures of men.

Howard has an aboriginal curse on him.

Howard hates Australia.

Howard should be spat at, should to opportunity present itself.

Howard - we don't love you anymore. It's you, not me.

Howard has worms and drags his bum on the ground like a dog.

Howard sucks his thumbs and has a security blanket.

Howard only likes white people.

Howard has a secret stash of various pornography deep within his sock drawer.

Howard wants people to work 12 hour days, 7 days a week.

Howard hates Jesus.

Howard went to public school.

Howard needs to be medicated, sedated and restrained.

Howard panders to the worst elements of the country.

Howard likes to bathe in the semen of workplace virgins.

Howard quite obviously has difficulties with sanity.

Howard - we never wanted you anyway, the coathanger thing just didn't work.

Howard has naught but disrespect for the common man.

Howard doesn't wash his hands after passing solids or water.

Howard has smelly feet.

Howard favors slavery.

Howard dislikes all humanitarian aspects of religion.

Howard kicks his dog.

Howard wants to be supreme ruler.

Howard is a cock-smoking fucktard dickhead.

Howard has an over-inflated ego.

Howard believes aboriginal society degenerating is doing the country a favour.

Howard has personal hygiene problems.

Howard has delusions.

Howard's g-spot is excited via stimulating his sphincter.

Howard fantasises about George W Bush, and how things are bigger in Texas.

Howard is going bald.

Howard has a booking, reserved in advance, for hell.

Howard has filthy fingernails.

Howard is a smarmy pompous little shit of a man.

Howard has never done a single days work in his life.

Howard hears voices.

Howard is the single most disliked PM in history.

Howard thinks it is hilarious that ignorant farmers think he's on their side.

Howard has a sadomasochist foot fetish.

Howard will be remembered as the man who destroyed the Liberal party.

Howard is a fungal growth on the genitals of our society.

Howard is an incompetent leader.


There we go, doing my bit for the country at large.
And now, speaking of 'at large' I have a date with the hills. *runs*

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Obligatory WorkChoices Advertisement

Hello, this is a government service announcement.

It has been brought to our attention that many of you do not appear to have taken a warming to the shit sandwich we are serving. Despite our efforts to convince you that the meal offered is nasty, nutritious and good for the digestive system, you relent.

Might we remind you, that shit itself still contains many nutrients left over by the body, and that the sandwich can be lightly toasted, grilled, all at your individual discretion.

Keep in mind the following fact - it is the governments stern agenda to continue spending tax dollars in order to convince you to accept the shit sandwich in its entirety. Standing firm against its introduction makes you, the tax payer, personally responsible for further government spending on the matter.

The decision is yours. Now, say thank you, and lick my boots.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Comservatives

It is amazing how creepy it is when you only need to edit a few words from anti-communist propaganda from the 60's, to make a quip at todays democracy.

Comservative

Original here.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Bits

I had a bit of an argument today with an ex-electrician, and an electronics technician (as opposed to me, who has only read bits about electronics) about whether the 240 volts in our AC current is measured in RMS instead of peak voltage. This would make the peak voltage in the range of 300 odd, rather than 240 as peak, and 180 or so as RMS - I explained that I was quite sure that the 240 is RMS, I was told I was wrong, and that I think I know everything, and shut up.

I explained that I was going to check when I got home (it was at the end of the day). I did.

Preparations to gloat has begun.





Latham, has only got one ball.
Beazley, has two but VER-Y small.
Brown's, drag on the ground.
And Howard, has no balls, at all.


(I miss my car stereo, and must make my own music on the drive.)




How Google searches find your blog is fascinating and quite often hilarious, here are the searches that have brought people here:

"malcom turnbull" - have I commented on him - is malcom spelled correctly?
injecting watermelon - must be some sort of fetish.
DDT "mixed drink" - OK, that's just worrying.
watermelon wine - nice idea
2B - that's great, I get linked from a pencil type. That is a pencil type yeah?
herlad sun, simpson, values - must've been from someone who lost the URL.
"aboriginal medical care" - not sure if I can provide much information on that subject.
"two bugs stuck together" - LOL, I think.. LOL.. Crap that's funny.
http://watermelonrant.blogspot.com - I think that was me.
gta sa crack - Jeepers man, have you not figured out how to put game and copy and world together?
ATSIC dissolution - I don't think I blogged on that, probably should have.
RANT A houses - HAHA, wait, is that meant to be funny or just a spelling mistake?
"Kate Ellis" Labor OR Adelaide - Labor OR Adelaide? What the?
Khe Sahn" don walker" interviews - The mind boggles.
angelic devils - Surely there are better pages for angelic devils!
workplacechoices - I saw that, and it cracked me up.
workplacechoices - So I tried it..
‘I dug a hole dad - Musta been that Castle reference a while back.
"Double the Fist" - Yes, I miss it and try to find info on it too. Yes I do cry about it.
WorkPlaceChoices - Someone tried it because I told them to.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

*cssht*

*cssht*

This is Alpha Australis, does anyone copy, over?

*cssht*

Repeat, this is uh.. Alpha Australis, does anyone copy, over?

*click pop*

If anyone gets this - this is Alpha Australis calling from a small Pacific nation.

Request assistance, lunatics taken over asylum, over.

*cssht*

Nation drugged into apathy, retarded by extended working hours, brainwashed by mind-numbing media, over.

*chshst*

Please, anyone. Populance walking zombies of ignorance, neo-conservative fruitloops running the shop, over. Some conscious people, only a minority, numbers overwhelmed by stupidity, police state, over.

*click*

Copy that Alpha Austrlis, this is UN Democracy-Rescue flagship Endeavour, we are bearing in on your signal now.

*cssh*

Oh thank sweet fuck for that.

*cshst*

Thank sweet fuck indeed, Australis. Request round up conscious and help unload and distribute anti-anti-depressant drugs, unbiased newspapers that contain news, and your Bill of Rights.

*chssht*




(Yes, I worry about me too.)

Sunday, October 16, 2005

The Race to the Bottom

OK this is totally going to screw up the page, but fudge it.

Future jobs on eBay

Saturday, October 15, 2005

WorkplaceChoices

WorkChoices – it’s all about choice.
The following choices have been removed:

The ability of the AIRC to determine minimum wage
The ability of the AIRC to deal with awards
The ability to have an unfair disadvantage test on AWAs
The ability to have more than the 4 guaranteed conditions
The right to have your award not stripped apart by the ART
No compulsory power of conciliation by the AIRC
No compulsory power of arbitration by the AIRC
The ability for employees (under 100) to make unfair dismissal claims
The ability to have a 3 month maximum probation review time
The ability to avoid the government having direct power over wages
The right not to have ordinary hours averaged over 12 months
The ability to have an agreement prohibiting AWAs
Or restricting the use of independent hire contractors or on-hire arrangements
Or allowing for industrial action during the term of an agreement
Or that provides for trade union training leave
Or bargaining fees to trade unions or paid union meetings
Or that provide that any future agreement must be a union collective agreement
Or that mandates union involvement in dispute resolution
Or that provide a remedy for unfair dismissal
Or any other matters proscribed by regulation/legislation
The ability to take industrial action to prevent the above
The ability to not get fined $30,000 for doing the above
The ability to not have a secret ballot before industrial action
The ability to even apply to have a vote when:
It is just after the expiry of an existing agreement
and if a bargaining period has been notified to the AIRC
The ability to have classifications of employees and rates of pay in awards
The ability to have annual leave in awards
The ability to have personal/carers leave in awards
The ability to have parental leave in awards
The ability to have skills-based career paths in awards
The ability to have restrictions on apprenticeships/traineeships in awards
The ability to have enterprise flexibility provisions in awards
The ability to have independent contractor provisions in awards
The ability to have labour hire worker clauses in awards
The ability to have union picnic day clauses in awards
The ability to have tallies in awards
The ability to have trade union training leave in awards

There are more, for some reason I got a bit upset with writing it and smashed my keyboard...
With my head.

20 Facts About Me

Well, I've been tagged by the Christian robot Justine, so here's 20 almost-but-not-quite-interesting facts about me,

1. I do like every type of music. No bad genres, just bad songs.

2. I really don't care about cars in the slightest way, perhaps a little when Micro Machines were around all those years ago. Also - if a $100 V8 VB w/ RWC gives your 40k all-up rice burner import a run for it's money - who's the dickhead?

3. I really don't care about any sport, and I don't understand the joy/disappointment that comes with supporting a team. Why are you happy, you didn't even do anything, bar supporting the companies that sponsored the game, and allow your tax dollars to train the team? Is it just war-like battle based on patriotism? Yay, the specific region where I spent some time in, has a team, and said team, through no effort of my own, has made an achievement. Oh hurrah!

4. I love the smell of the newspaper in the morning. Smells like freedom of information.
Or possibly newsprint on half-pulped paper. Sometimes I do sniff The Age.

5. I sing or whistle a lot. In fact, most of the time. I don't do it at all well either, much to the trauma of my colleagues.

6. I wear odd socks. I figure the sock monster that nicks each individual one isn't going to get to me, not at all. I won't let it, so if I find a pair, I'll wear them, but I have made an executive decision to wear odd socks if the opportunity presents itself. Do you have any idea how uncomfortable this makes people? It's quite hilarious.

7. I maintain flowing locks. Do you have any idea how uncomfortable this makes people? It's quite hilarious.

8. I am entirely aware of every minor or major attempt by my subconscious to procrastinate, and mostly, I just run with it. I realise I don't want a cup of tea particularly, but I do wish to avoid doing something that resembles effort, so I might go pop the kettle on. Oh I could do with a biscuit.. etc.

10. Quite frankly, I find blogging is rather therapeutic. Ranty-Agony-Auntie.

11. I think overall, most people are just plain born dumb, and predisposed to doing stupid things.
12. I'm entirely too ashamed to blatantly plug my blog, I feel bad enough even with a link to my profile. (You know it's true, especially those who actually do plug your own - shame you shame!)
13. The type of music I really want to hear doesn't seem to exist, and I'm tempted to make it myself because of it. Political punk has too much ska - there's no passion if you sing like that you dopes.

14. The weight of the world is on my shoulders. Perhaps I need an over-the-shoulder-weight-of-the-world-holder.

15. I drink coffee at home, tea at work (I don't need that kind of stimulation at work.)

16. I like cheese. I also eat over a kilo of chocolate a week on average.

17. I cannot stand cruelty to animals. I kill spiders, but hate the sound of snails underfoot.

18. I inadvertantly deleted these last five things. And then remembered all of them. I play games. It is debatable, but depending on how you look at it, I was in the first group (clan) almost professionally sponsored by a corporate entity to play a computer game in Australia. (Signed the contract and never did get my t-shirt, kinda fell through in the end.)

19. I can't understand right-wing ideology. I do try, ever so hard. The more I quiz these folk, the only conclusion I come to is that it stems from either ignorance (curable) or sociopathy (incurable).

20. I am, overall, perpetually happy and positive but without being ignorant, and sometimes I'm not sure how healthy this is.

I tag Her-Anger-Man, and two other strange people Sarah and Gam.
Why? Because if I have to do this damned thing, so do others.

Friday, October 14, 2005

ACTU Scare campaign

OK, now the unions are going a bit too far:


Large one here

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Howard is pro-work-choice?


Flickr here.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Productivity 101

Well, the brain-washing advertising is beginning. I request only that the Howard government leave me a few of my happy memories of childhood before they erase everything.



Now that we're going to be forced to increase productivity in order to get any sort of wage increase, let's be realistic, and look into ways to do this.

Time is money. Productivity is time, or work units, over money.
To put it another way, productivity is how close your wage is to zero, for any set amount of work in a given time.

Walking.

This is an inefficient, and quite commonplace method of transportation. As healthy as it may be, there is a potential productivity gain by encouraging employees to sprint from place to place. Running can be considered healthier than walking, higher impact considerations aside. Studies show that the average employee walks between 0.5 and 3% of the day, some as high as 50% - the median sitting around 1.25%.

The speed increase, and this is considered on the basis that stretching is done in the employee's own time, is considerable - averaging at roughly twice as fast. There is a median productivity saving of 1.25%.

Sleep.

With the prevalence of unpaid overtime about to increase, sleep is a redundant luxury. ‘Crunch-time’ periods of necessary high productivity are widespread – these are hampered by the extended breaks required through slumber. Techniques and medications to avoid sleep requirements during intense work periods are nothing new. Pseudoephedrine and caffeine tablets are all available locally, and presently are frequently used in the heavy vehicle transportation industry, for example.

Compensation payments can be made to offset the medication side effects and any illness risk (mostly this would be of the psychological variety.) Recent pharmaceutical advances can also be used to counteract the effects, many often ‘elated’ with the results within hours. Studies show that sleep costs the manufacturing industry $5.7 billion in exports a year.

Eating/Drinking.

The advent of drip-feed nutrient or fluid distribution has been used in the medical industry for some time, and is nothing new. 1 in 2 people will be hydrated or fed via a ‘drip’ at some stage in their lives. Focus groups have shown that public perception of automated consumption is at record levels of acceptance. Break periods, used for rest and sustenance, cost Australian companies millions of man-hours each week.

Bathroom Activities.

Currently there is a phase of people’s lives that is spent unable to control either bowel or bladder. For most, this occurs early and again towards the end, and requires measures that benefit both hygiene, and work flow. Interruptions to continuous operations process workers, for example, can be incredibly costly – halting an entire line. Measures to avoid this situation are cheap, easily obtainable, and don’t inhibit lifestyle. These would include, but not limited to, nappies, bedpans at workstations, or extended open communal troughs. The productivity benefits of constipation should also not be overlooked.

Illness/Injury.

Cures are elusive, and expensive. Painkillers, on the other hand, in combination with placebos, serotonin reuptake inhibitors, etc, can be issued by supervisors at low cost, to ensure work continues despite any perceived pain, distress or injury. There are many scenarios in which complete ignorance from pain (commonly known as a stupor) can improve worker performance during these difficult periods. In most cases, even severed limbs or digits can be placed on ice until the workers shift ends, and reattached outside working hours without risk.

Social Activities.

Socializing and talking take up too large a portion of working hours. Apart from the obvious simple draconian silence rules to enforce a reduction, other possible solutions could be: a decrease in media stimuli, in order to diminish the number of topics people feel the need to discuss – this can be addressed by a nationwide ignorance of politics, news, etc brought upon by ‘fluff’ infotainment of little substance (see News Limited’s great strides in this area.) The ability to read and write also is shown to have a negative effect to efficiency.

Hygiene.

Industry loses millions of work hours to hand washing, decontamination and other hygiene reasons. Respect for health and safety will need to diminish into insignificance over time for output rates to increase, but workers may need to be occasionally deloused, hosed down, etc to prevent costly disease and time lost from deaths.

Motivation.

The following chart shows studies done overseas to determine the effectiveness of corporate violence on the individual:

Productivity

These ‘civil liberties’, often blown out of proportion in popular media, are obviously disadvantageous to productivity. In order to avoid any backlash from liberty loss, the population may need to be distracted, and reforms introduced over time, with some vaguely suitable reason appropriated.

Automation.

Human muscle is, and in the foreseeable future, cheaper and more efficient than any form of automated robotics. This is only the case once heavy pressure is applied.

Holidays.

Holidays should be abolished, but over a period of time.

Genetic modification.

Glycolytic muscles, for example, are superior, and should be genetically engineered where appropriate into employee clones. Preferably, these clones could be purchased from a suitable biotechnology company. Work needs to be done on this early, as even with growth hormones, and other escalation techniques to speed the gestation period, there will be some lead-time. Modification to existing employees might have to suffice in the interim, until suitable units can be manufactured.

Human beings themselves, although for lack of want of sentimentality they should hereon in be referred to as human resources, seem to be the ideal genetic base for workers. History has shown them to be the easiest to subdue, as all other existing creatures always retain at least some respect for their own freedoms when all should at that point seem hopeless – from horses bucking, to dogs escaping, to elephants and orcas snapping.

Workers should be working 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with zero faults, at the highest possible rate, given the limitations of muscle exhaustion, lactic acid build-up, overheating, speed of light, etc.

If we take the above measures, I am confident we can all manage to gain some wage increases through these productive ideas.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Meanwhile, back upstairs...


Hey God, what's up




Hmm? Oh, hey Bob.




What's the matter? You seem a little down.




I dunno. It's just. Well, you take a look.




Let's see now... woah!
Jeez, your little guys are running amok.



Tell me about it.




What are you gonna do about it, God?




Oh, I just don't know what to do at this point.




You're so averse to intervention aren't you?
Even back in World-Shop class, you'd always sit there and three times you let the sentients discover nukes and blow themselves up!



I know. I got an F for Intelligent-Life Utopia.




Yeah, that's right. If you hadn't aced Intelligent Design, you'da flunked. Those fjords on Zenkplop 1 man, the whole class was stunned.



I just.. I want them to be themselves, yknow? If they want to constantly war, argue, draw up boundaries, enforce poverty, be insanely cruel.. what's the point? I mean, I don't see why they just don't create peace and happyness without me scaring the shit out of them.



Fuck it, I'm gonna tsunami the fuckers.




NO! Oh you cunt. Look at what you just did, you're such a dick Bob.




See, look now - an outpouring of giving, caring and appreciation. What did I tell you?




Yeah, but now I got heaps of after-life paperwork to fill out.




Bah. Oh, by the way, you dropped you pen.




What? Oh, right.




Hurricane, earthquake.




Stop it. That's it, get out. Aww the friggin levies, shit. Arggg why did I make that below sea level, so stupid putting a river there.




Wooot, doubts placed on the ruler of an ignorant populance, more giving and caring. I'm tellin' ya man, acts of god bring out the best in people.



Yeah yeah. How's about you get your guys to stop coming over and probing my guys.




Hey, don't get shitty at me. Just because your guys haven't discovered interstellar travel, and keep sitting around smoking plants.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Taxing times (OMFG that is a bad title)

A big shout out to the peeps who read this site - Herangerman, Aleks, the IRS, etc.

Why is the IRS looking at this page?

"08 Oct, Sat, 01:12:52 - internet3.irs.gov - MSIE 6 - Windows XP"
According to the tracker.

Probably a good segue to the "Handbook for bloggers and cyber-dissidents:"
By Reporters without Borders. (replace without with sans at your leisure)

Lot's of information about how to blog well, and anonymously - big issue really.

Back to the Internal Revenue Service, why do you need a web crawler? Is this because I used the name 'Cheney'? Surely that can't be it.. Hmm.. Seems if you do a search for "watermelon tax evasion" I'm number one.

Let me make myself clear for the next cache update - I do not, and will never support the evasion of any taxes placed on watermelons, or any fruit or vegetable.

In summary, watermelon tax evasion is fraud, any is not supported by this site or it's author.

Pencil it in. November 15

Australia’s Biggest Ever Workers’ Meeting To Take Place 15 November.

But then again, you already knew that. It's going to be a trickier this time around - June 30th was easy with school holidays, because buses could easily be accessed, and transportation of the insane quantity of workers that poured into the city was possible.

This time around, it's not just mainly a Melbourne endeavour, this one's gotta be big across the country. Details here.

For the event, I have decided to make a large papier-mâché Howard-on-a-Stick, with arms, making some undisclosed and undecided social statement. Here's my progress so far...


Might need to brush up on my grade 3 flour-pasting skills, and get some acrylics out for this one. Will keep progress posted.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Playing the angelic devils advocate

Yes, it'd be funny if it weren't true.

The lunatics have officially taken over the asylum. I, for one, welcome our new insane overlords.
Actually, no I don't - *resistance to rant, failing..* what the hell? God TOLD you!? Did this happen while you were asleep, or on the can, when did this happen?! Perhaps you were sitting there, asking if you could go potty?

Was it an actual voice?
Did it sound a widdle bit wike Cheney?
C'moooon, George, don't go all coy now...
It did, didn't it.. Yes it did...
Did Dick tell you to say God told you to do it?
Geooooorge? Don't be naughty now, you can tell us, we're your friends.
Awww.. he did, that's a good boy George (heh), now you can have any three cookies from the jar. Remember, lies make baby Jesus cry.

Do they ever get tired of fuckin' with the idiot on the stand?

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Prefs


Click here for larger image.

This is the weighted political preferences in the Victorian senate at the last federal election.

Greens got around a 40 from Dems and ALP
Family First got around a 50 from Dems and ALP

Also, if you follow the Dem and ALP lines for preferences, bar where they preference themselves, they are quite identical.

So many little things in there. ALP puts One Nation above Liberal/Nationals. Dems put Libs not that much lower than they put Greens.

Might add some of the minor parties in more detail later.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Random bits of nonsensicals.

Wahoo - bits of the ocean are starting to glow for some strange reason. That fills me with the sort of confidence one can only have with FUCKING WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!?!?

WHAT THE FUCK DID WE PUT INTO THE OCEAN???????????????

Does it uh.. yknow.. normally do that? Yknow - the GLOWING SO FREAKIN BRIGHT IT SHOWS UP ON A SATELLITE IMAGE!?!?

It's a quarter of a million meters in length. Bright enough to be seen from the stratosphere. Aurora Arabialice?

Anyone remember the end scene of The Abyss? But we haven't made any new nuclear... oh wait.. oh dear. Oh tsunamis.. Oh. *X-files music*

----

"Vancouver is the world's most desirable place to live"

The best ten: "Vancouver, Melbourne, Vienna, Geneva, Perth, Adelaide, Sydney, Zurich, Toronto, Calgary"

Yes, 4 in Australia, 3 in Canada, 2 it Switzerland, 1 in Austria

Publicly funded health care anyone?

"The EIU study assessed nearly 40 indicators in five broad categories -- stability, healthcare, culture and environment, education and infrastructure"

C'mon Howard - you've knocked Melbourne down one notch - you can do better.

IF YOU DON'T WANT REFUGEES, MAKE AUSTRALIA WORSE!

Stability - A+ Massive public protests, and nationwide fear grips the nation, police state implementations. OK Howard, you've done well here to destabilize.

Healthcare - C- What happened to getting rid of bulk billing and Medicare altogether? You know it shits you, stop letting the free-loaders, who pay taxes and aren't really free-loaders, getting a non-free ride and let them rot in the waiting room or whatever it is you want them to do.

Culture - C+ Where is the attack on the arts? C'mon son, where are your priorities?

Environment - B- Pretty fucked up, but could be fucked more.

Education - D+ Why do we have free education? We can't go down the list of cities people want to live in without further Liberal Party ideals being thrust upon us - nice work with the with-holding states funding. Oh, and VSU, slip Barnaby a bone or something, those Nationals people ARE your lap dogs aren't they?

Infrastructure - A- The phones don't even run on time. Wait, that doesn't make sense.

----

If God made us in his image - are we to scale, and if not - is it HO scale? Or million:1?

And if we are born with defects, does that point to the fallibility of God?

If we are born with a pre-disposition for violence and cruelty, made in His image, what does that make him? What does that make US if we manage to calm primitive urges? Better than God?

Parents always want a better life for their children, and are happy when they excel in areas they can't or are better people than they had the chance to be - is God an arsehole, and is he impressed and a bit teary when we turn out all nice and caring despite his shitty genes?

If you go through the Bible and change all references to deities to Mother Nature, would it change the meaning?

------

I love these quiz things, sometimes they actually say things...


You scored as Paganism. Your beliefs are most closely aligned with those of paganism, Wicca, or a similar earth-based religion. You may also follow a Native American religion.

agnosticism

75%

Paganism

75%

Buddhism

67%

atheism

67%

Christianity

67%

Islam

63%

Satanism

58%

Hinduism

42%

Judaism

42%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com



You scored as Green. <'Imunimaginative's Deviantart Page'>

Green

100%

Anarchism

92%

Democrat

92%

Socialist

58%

Communism

50%

Republican

17%

Nazi

0%

Fascism

0%

What Political Party Do Your Beliefs Put You In?
created with QuizFarm.com

NOTE: How far removed a Communist is from a Green, etc.

ALSO NOTE: 100% Green, at least I got it right eh? No wonder I'm so happy with my choice.


Link for religion finder here.
Link for political quiz here. Cut and pasted the code, not sure why it linked back to blogger.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Denise chucks the wobbly.


Ever read an article as brilliantly aware as this?


Go Denise Allen, you crazy lady.

If I posted the good bits, I’d be copying the entire article, so I’ll quote the amazingly brilliant ones.

“Last Tuesday I resigned as a member of the Labor Party. I could no longer sit by and watch as the party I have loved since a child becomes a faction of the Howard Government.”

“In May 2000, I became the first Labor person and the first woman to win the state seat of Benalla after 97 years of conservative rule. It was the proudest moment of my life.”

“But over the past few years, I have sat back and watched the party I grew up passionate about, that was so much a part of our everyday thinking, move progressively further and further to the right and simply become another faction of the Howard Government with its me-too, me-too attitude.”

“It frustrates the hell out of me - I can't stand it any more and I bet I'm not the only one.” And I thought I was the only one!

“Until more of the original Labor Party devotees stand up to be counted and go as far as resigning from the party, the party hacks and faceless factional men will continue to drag our party into the cesspool of conservative right-wing politics that is so alien to the traditional Labor Party true believers.”

“There are many good people in the Labor Party - where is their voice, why don't they stand up for their beliefs?”

Good point, I’d say the same for the good people in the Liberal party – what the hell are (and hopefully eventually were) you thinking?!

There’s no mention of The Greens in any of this, so I’ll hoof ‘em in.

“We were dedicated to social issues and a fair go for everyone."
I’m sure I don’t have to point out Greens position on this one.

“The Labor Party I know would have fought tooth and nail against Australians' involvement in Iraq without UN sanctions. They would have protected Australia from terrorism by simply not being party to an illegal war.”
A bit like The Greens did really.

“Over the past week we have seen the plight of citrus growers across Australia.”
Tens of thousands of tonnes of oranges dumped – a bit of a globalisation world trade whoopsie-doodle. Not exactly a Green policy to encourage this sort of thing – a few weeks ago Browns labelling laws were knocked back – aimed at labelling imported foods with country, as well as GM labeled as GM, and a list of contaminants in products on the web. Once again – Howard (and the ALP I guess) is saying, “consumers do not have the right to know the country of origin, genetically modified information, or what heavy metals or pesticides are in the food they eat. Unless the company that sells the products wants to tell them.” *Laff*

“Now we have Bob Hawke calling on Australia to be the garbage tip for nuclear waste. Money, money, money - that's what it is all about.”
It’s a good point, it should not be done for money, and my opinion is that it should be done – the thought of other countries dropping barrels of nuclear waste into the ocean, or if possible, worse, gives me the shivers. The Greens policy on this one:

“14.2.4 ensure that nuclear waste generated in Australia is stored as safely as possible above ground at or near the site of generation, and is adequately and permanently monitored

14.2.6 immediately ban the import of nuclear waste into, and the export of nuclear waste from, Australia

14.2.7 ensure that Australian spent nuclear fuel rods are not processed in Australia nor elsewhere”

Now this is interesting, to best ensure the third, we may have to forfeit the second clause, and adjust the first to include waste generated around the globe, and stored in the safest manner possible, and Australia is probably the best place for that.

However, is it fair to harvest the benefits of nuclear power without suffering the consequences of dealing with the waste (as is unavoidable with coal power?) Very debatable topic really, both have pro’s and con’s – party would have to set up studies and vote on that one. Regardless, the point is – it shouldn’t be done whilst rubbing greedy hands together, but for maximum benefit of all concerned.

Anyhoo, there you have it. She storms off like a Latham in a sock, saying something similar, ie: ‘you all suck’ but without saying ‘these guys are like what you guys were supposed to be like, but aren’t.”

And then some.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Wardrobe

I'm applying for a wardrobe change - specifically, just the collar. I'm thinking a nice shade of white*, instead of my existing blue-ish hue. Crap know's what my chances are, but I'll see how I go.

Does anyone else really truly hate interviews? 'Sell yourself' sounds far too much like 'bare your naked flesh and prostitute yourself to The Man.'

Or maybe I'm just cynical. Possibly not self-assured.

I'll assume I'll get whacked onto an AWA, with one of those Confidentiality Agreement clauses, stipulating what you can say about your pay or whatever (for some reason I've never been very successful at getting out of people what they can and can't say.. what's up with that?). A bit like blacked-out entries in a dictionary - you can't say this anymore. *shudders*

Oh well, can't hurt to try.

* I'm aware 'a shade of white' is a bit of a misnomer, stfu you pedantic mofo's.