Friday, September 29, 2006

News Headlines

AWB could face terror charges
Howard calls parliament sitting, softens anti-terrorism laws

Third cyclist critical after road accidentsNo one cares, as long as the pedestrians are safe.

Hicks 'will not be executed...': Ruddock
'...because that can only happen when you receive a trial.'

T3 sale launched with $20m ad blitz
Because using your money to advertise your stuff to yourself sounds like a great idea.

Sex workers nabbed in Centrelink crackdown
Despite fortnightly payment being the equivalent value of flashing your boobs.

To end terrorism, we must first find its allure
CIA initiates plan to assassinate heavenly virgins.

Costello unveils massive budget surplus
Treasurer underestimates his own surplus again, still considered capable.
The relied-on pulling-shit-out-of-the-ground-and-selling-it industry is booming - who could possibly foresee any end to this?

Monday, September 25, 2006

Exclusive Brethren's God-safe PC offer!


The Exclusive Brethren's God-Safe PC Leasing Centre, genuine, bona fide, 100% demon-free PC's.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Exclusive Brethren Digest

The Age has been hammering out Exclusive Brethren articles, which is somewhat surprising. Although, any investigation into a secretive sect with obvious influence on the constructs of western democracies, with the occasional family destruction on the side, should not be surprising.

The Exclusive Brethren:

  • have 40,000 members worldwide, about 18,000 in Australia.
  • meet in rooms, not churches
  • are allowed no entertainment (novels, university attendance, wearing of shorts, mobile phones, voting or contraception)
  • the no-computer rule has been modified recently, with computers now allowed if they are leased from Mr Hales' office supply business.
  • rule-breaking leads to excommunication, the loss of contact with all family members and the loss of business networks.
  • have spent an unknown amount on the 2004 Australian federal election campaign; ($US530,000 — $A704,400) on the George Bush re-election campaign, and an unknown sum on the 2006 Tasmanian election.

They strongly campaign against green parties, and to a lesser extent the ALP’s of the world, and push towards the Howard’s and Bush’s.

From correspondence to The ABC:

God ordains the powers that be. Voting is a political interference with God’s rights in this regard.” Which sound fine, but there’s a catch: “Satan infiltrates government and legislation, seeking to weaken man’s sense of what is due to God. No enlightened Christian would stand by and do nothing, while ignorant persons call good evil and evil good.” (And that even asking about the hypocritical vote=bad, campaign=good, means you are influenced by the MP’s they campaign against.)

This all sounds acceptable, but it is dishonest. Their campaigns are entirely secular, if they weren’t they’d distribute these:

From the collection of their actual pamplets here

The following (from AU/NZ) are evils masquerading as goods, and the work of Satan:

Introducing Gift & inheritance taxes, introducing capital gains taxes on family homes, introducing petrol and diesel taxes, increasing company tax, increasing Medicare levy, removing private health care rebate.

decriminalizing cannabis, allowing cannabis in some venues, testing heroin treatment programs, looking at other options of “social drugs” – ie: ecstacy, offer financial assistance to cannabis growers for alternative employment

non-violent civil defence forces, only allowing asylum seekers to be detained for 14 days, welcome all refugees e.g. boat people (Ooooh, boat people, thanks for clarifying.), cutting defence spending, teaching criminals art (seriously, it’s there)

A smaller population, not building more jails, giving criminals voting rights, unconditional dole payments, scrap work-for-the-dole, legalize same-sex marriage, sex chance operations funded by Medicare, persons to choose their own gender regardless of their sex at birth, cancel all Third World Debt (Nice)

Spending money on “novel” public transport, blocking road construction

Pushing high country farmers off their lease-hold land, permit right-to-roam over private property

Not lauding Howard as the saviour of the environment, introducing carbon tax, supporting the Kyoto protocol, adding more Government ministries


  • New taxes for people and companies are evil.
  • All drugs are evil, decriminalising or helping drug users is evil.
  • Non-violence is evil.
  • Not punishing and traumatising boat people is evil.
  • Teaching criminals art is evil.
  • Providing asylum for boat people is evil.
  • Cancelling Third World Debt is evil.
  • The Kyoto protocol is evil.
  • Homosexuality is all evil.

This seems to have little to do with EB’s technology, shorts, and entertainment are-all-evil line. I can understand the gay stuff – Jesus publicly bashed gays, or something, apparently there’s something in the bible that makes it OK to do that.

And on the subject of technology being evil, here’s how one EB priest put the reasons for their previous no-computer stance: “The whole IT system if you like, the computer area is marked and running into the mammon of sin in revelation. The number 666 I’m sure you’ll know about, and there it is, bar codes and everything. So we seek just simply to live a life separate from that.”

See? Makes perfect sense.

They’ve also popped out this little doosy faxed in correspondence with the ABC:

They’ve been involved in many things for quite some time, which makes recent revelations all the more disturbing.

IN 16 years as chief justice of the Family Court, Alastair Nicholson had only two delegations of people asking for special treatment, and both were from the Exclusive Brethren – wishing to prevent excommunicated from having further contact with their partner or children, which they believe they should have no right to do. With bans on TV, novels, newspaper, mobile phones, and, disgustingly, higher education - they also wished to restrict what the parent could do. The money came from the daily Brethren meetings donations – for a “fighting fund.”

(Lib)Peter Reith rang (Dem) Andrew Murray in 1996 about the workplace relations act – he’d had meetings with EB and wanted to confirm support for the continued inclusion of union-banning clauses. It was denied.

The government claims the clause was not designed to please EB, but since 2002, every one of the 30+ employers who claimed a "conscientious objection" (union banning) exemption belonged to the Exclusive Brethren church.

In 2001, amendments to the Workplace Relations Act substantially expanded the right of some businesses to exclude unions, banning not just closed shops but preventing any union official entry to a workplace, if staff agreed. The staff consultation clause was removed under WorkChoices this year.

(Lib) Eric Abez claims there is no special dealing with the clause, this is all just religious vilification, despite having met with members of EB several times, that the law had been in industrial relations law "since Menzies", and nothing had changed. (Well, apart from the changes, nothing has changed.) Research by the parliamentary library shows that a conscientious objection provision was first introduced in Queensland in 1948 after lobbying by the Exclusive Brethren.

In 1948, might wanna let that sink in a bit. Back when Israel was created, back when Jeff Kennett and Al Gore were BORN.

Barnaby Joyce, MP for a year now, recalls half a dozen visits by EB members (re: industrial relations, and their battle with Bob Brown), and notices them in a Parliament House cafeteria.

The Victorian Nationals leader has had a meeting with four members, discussing policies on gay rights and abortion, and they've also been "watching from the public gallery (in NZ) on most sitting days."


  • EB has between 33 and 38 schools in Australia.
  • 10 in Victoria
  • 13 in NSW
  • EB schools are not always identifiable.
  • Victorian EB schools get $1.2 million this year (although typically have no computers.)
  • Women may not preach or pray aloud, must have long hair and wear headscarves.
  • Men have short hair and must be clean shaven.
  • They only marry other members.
  • Councils provide rate exemptions on each of their dozen parcels of land in Australian capital cities on the grounds they are used for religious worship.
  • The Supreme Court of Queensland ruled last December that Exclusive Brethren were not eligible for the millions of dollars in rate exemptions they claimed during the 1990s because their church services were held in private, and did not fit the category of "public worship". (They have reapplied for exemption, offering to make changes to premises or practises.)
  • Looser laws in Victoria means easier exemption.
  • Leaders receive millions in tax-free dollars in donations each year.
  • There are weekly “fighting fund” donations, and donations for the upkeep of “churches”.
  • There is a monthly “special collection”, which goes straight to leaders, and not the poor. (Poverty is a sign of God’s punishment, and few members are poor, so little would end up in the hands of needy Brethren.)
  • An Age journalist was refused entry to a Brethren meeting because he "could be the most corrupt man in Melbourne".
  • Previous world leader, American James Symington, boasted of buying 600 hectares of prime North Dakota ranch land out of the proceeds of donations from the EB flock.

I’m struck as to why all they put so much effort into all this. Apparently, it has to do with the final rapture, with Jesus’ return after the tribulations (as opposed to before) and that can only happen once Christians have taken over the reins of government, and got the world under Christian control. (According to an academic specializing in religion.)

Or perhaps it’s just a good old power trip/scam/another participant in the conga line of hijacked religions that seem to plague us so much nowadays.

It’s a shame this sects' influence has only begun to concern us, and especially shameful nothing has been done to prevent damage they've caused to families. Those who support and aid members that leave have yet to be given adequate recognition of their efforts.

But most shameful of all, is that no party except the Greens supported Bob Browns motion to investigate the sect’s political and social activities, which will now continue unabated.

I might go investigate further into my nearest EB “church”, there’s one in my adjoining suburb, perhaps I’ll walk.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

All your laws are belong to US

The Australia United States Free Trade Agreement requires Australia to prohibit the use of devices and services to circumvent TPMs (Technological Protection Measures). Currently Australia does not prohibit the use of devices and services to circumvent TPMs but does prohibit activities in relation to circumvention devices.

Anyone found to have used technology to circumvent copy control TPMs will face fines of up to $6600, while those guilty of distributing enabling devices and services to others through a variety of means face imprisonment for up to five years and possible fines of $60,500.

Australia had an obligation to the US to implement the laws before January 1 next year.

Compulsory laws. In a democracy. Smells like freedom.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

An Illconsidered Truth

Look, there is only really one way to tell if climate change was real or not. The powers that be will know the truth, whether they tell us is another issue. And their first priority would be to save themselves.

They'd be relocating to hills, and build thick walls to keep the rising sea levels and drowning proles out. Simple. Have they done that?

Friday, September 15, 2006


The combine harvester, ute, black box flight recorder, the atomic absorption spectrophotometer, are just a few of the Great Australian Inventions.

But none of these can possibly hold a candle to the greatest of all Aussie inventions – mateship.

On this day, 15th of September, 1806, Sir Phillip J. Mate, (knighted 1823) working on a station in Bundarundararara with an acquaintance, decided he wished to have a deeper, more meaningful and personal relationship with his co-worker, but not in a homosexual way.

Up until this point in history, all human relationships were either sexual, marital, occassionally both, or consisted of (usually work-related) acquaintances or family. There were no other bonds, the concept of a friend, which seems quite natural now, simply had not been thought up.

Phillip’s first challenge was devising a way to develop an unspoken and unwritten rulebook for his device, and then how to communicate it with the co-worker. No records exist of this unwritten rulebook, which seems to have been passed down the ages from unspoken words of suggestion.

Initially, his colleague was reluctant to accept this new form of flirtation, which, in late December, resulted in fisticuffs. This incident was to provide the catalyst for the concept of mateship, when after the two bloodied men ceased their scrap, they looked each other in the eye.

Many consider this moment as being the exact instant in human history, that mateship was born. The two did not resume brawling, nor did they part, they burst out laughing, to the astonishment of onlookers. They patted each other of the back, spontaneously inventing the universal sign of mateship, purchased beers for one another, and provided critical yet jovial analysis of each others abilities noted from the punch-on.

Sir Phillip would later become friends with others, who termed the relationship as having “a mate”. The concept spread quickly around the world, soon everyone would have a mate, or several mates of their own. Some would even rank their mates, with the “best” friend being a coveted sign of personal affection.

So celebrate the 200th anniversary of this, the greatest Australian invention, mateship. Tip your hat to Mr Mate, and enjoy close relationships with others in a non-homosexual way.

Thursday, September 14, 2006


Too busy to blog.

To the boss that denied my request to take an RDO (the ones I'm being pressured into taking before the end of September) so I could get some uni assignments done before they're due - thanks heaps. Really.

No really, you are a truly great person. And the bullshit excuse you came up with, that made no sense, was completely irrational, and had a sprinkling of spite, was a nice touch. I've been procrastinating anyways - countless hours - doing unnecessary things like sleeping for a few hours each night. I mean, what a waste! How slack of me!

And to Amanda Vanstone, I thank you also. That was the funniest thing I've read in ages, kudos for brightening my day. I'm still chuckling.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Wikipedia treasures

"What I found on Wikipedia today":

Bandwidth warning: This sucker comes in at 1/3 of a meg (just for the HTML!)

List of ethnic slurs.

So many clever racists inventing words for all sorts of folk throughout history... Remarkable.

Stop Dying or The Terrorists Will Win

AUSTRALIA could become a Muslim nation within 50 years because "we are high-risk-life-styling ourselves almost out of existence", a Government backbencher says.

The former minister Danna Vale is one of five Coalition women proposing an amendment to the private member's bill that seeks to remove ministerial veto over dangerous activities such as nature documentaries, and racing. At a news conference called by the five yesterday, she said it was important politicians considered the ramifications "for the community and the nation we become in the future".
"I have read … comments by a certain imam from the Adrenaline Junkies Association [who] actually said that Australia is going to be a Muslim nation in 50 years' time," said Mrs Vale, MP for the southern Sydney seat of Hughes.

"I didn't believe him at the time. But … look at the deathrates (Irwin, Brock) and you look at the fact that we (whiteys) are inadvertantly-killing ourselves almost out of existence by 2 deaths this year … You multiply that by 50 years. That's 5 million potential white Australians we won't have here."

Keysar Trad, head of the High-Risk Friendship Association of Australia, said Mrs Vale's remarks were outlandish and that they pandered to xenophobia and the "community's shortage of understanding about dangerous activities".

From here. Please stop dying, white Australians. The darkies aren't thrill-seekers like us. Stay away from wildlife and any targa races.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Global Something

Data from a deep ice core drilled out of the Antarctic permafrost reveals a shocking rate of change in carbon dioxide concentrations. The core, stretching through layers dating back 800,000 years, contains tiny bubbles of ancient air that can be analysed.

Scientists who studied the samples found that they left no doubt as to the extent of the build-up of greenhouse gases. For most of the past 800,000 years, carbon dioxide levels had remained at between 180 and 300 parts per million (ppm) of air. Today they were at 380 ppm.

Many experts recognise a "tipping point" of 440 ppm of carbon dioxide, after which climate change starts to run out of control.

And, with the current rate of increase over the past 40 years (1.3 a year), that’ll happen way into the future, around 2052. Or four and a half decades. Those in their late 20’s now will be 70ish by the time we reach that point of no return.

But let’s be practical, it’s going to take 768,941 years for the entire atmosphere to be carbon dioxide and nothing else. And it’ll be around 384,326 years for half the atmosphere to be CO2.

In 172 years, atmospheric CO2 will be twice as high as any other time in the past 800,000 years.

But never fear, there are movies containing presentations and neat graphics which will effectively preach to the converted, coming to a theatre near you. It will convince those already convinced, to be slightly more convinced. If possible.

But fret not, for the powers that be are having meetings about it. Conferences, if you will. And we can all be certain that in these conferences they will be dealing with the issues that need to be addressed in order for mankind to continue to exist on this planet.

We have nothing to fear, for they know the seriousness and dire consequences of inaction. We can trust them.

In fact, just last night there was a government-sponsored climate change conference dinner in the Old Parliament House, Canberra. The “social highlight of the 17th Australian New Zealand Climate Change Forum.

The three-day event at the Australian National University was sponsored by
the Bureau of Rural Sciences at the federal Department of Agriculture, Fisheries
and Forestry and the Australian Greenhouse Office, an arm of the federal
Department of the Environment and Heritage.

The Australian Research Council Research Network for Earth System Science (an
education and government networking organisation) and the Managing Climate
Variability R&D Program also sponsored the event.

Behind the closed doors of our system, the levers are being pulled, and the gears turned. But there’s just one problem

Outraged scientists stormed out… after female entertainers stripped down to their underwear as part of a burlesque show. And one of the performers, who was covered in balloons, walked around the venue inviting scientists to burst parts of her costume.

"They stripped down to their underwear - it was huge bras and panties," she said. "I wasn't really paying attention but it looked like a woman dressed as a cowgirl, one dressed as a schoolgirl and one dressed as a sheriff who did a little dance."

Okay, be alarmed.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Cliché's in check.

Mention his name, nickname(s), and age (always too young). CHECK.
Mention the manner in which he died, and the likelihood of those circumstances. CHECK.
Mention he died doing what he loved. CHECK.
Mention his persona, and how genuine it is. CHECK.
Mention the shock and/or denial of people he’s touched. CHECK.
Mention the misfortune of his wife/children. CHECK.
Mention any foreign well-known news outlets that have picked up the story. CHECK.
Tip-toe around but still mention how the risky lifestyle could affect mortality. CHECK.
Mention any good deeds he has committed (any tracts of land for conservation, etc – WARNING: do not mention conservation if you a conservative MP!) CHECK (Nice to go the “larrikin” angle to avoid that, you cunt-holes*)

Now that’s all fine, a bit too clichéd for my liking, but understandable, and expected.

BUT DO NOT FUCKING MENTION HIS IMPACT ON TOURISM, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? He was a great man, because… he helped us sell localised fucking teaspoons? THAT’S his legacy? “I bin to Nim-bin” novelty license plates? Shut the fuck up.

Oh, and the obligatory C****y word now is “Jeepers” until the pain goes away, or maybe never (whichever comes first.) And to certain non-mainstream email-based media outlets, THIS MEANS YOU. is available, and I expect the domain transfer to begin shortly.

*With all due respect to literal cunt-holes.

Monday, September 04, 2006


It made ABC front page:

And Fark: (with an un-measurable number of comments)



New York Times


And it even made Slashdot (a bit suprising really):

And yes, even Al Jazeera:

And from Africa's first online newspaper, the Mail & Guardian:
(I tried to find some obscure new site...)
I was never his greatest fan. But he was not merely the overly enthusiastic occa croc-hugger he was portrayed as.

So long fella. Only the good...

"Thousands of MSN users gave respect to the wildlife conservationist, adding a turtle (tu) icon to their msn names. The turtle represents Harriet, the 175 yr old Galapogas Turtle who was owned by Steve until she died on 23rd June, 2006"

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Todays Call-To-Renouce by Costello

Peter Costello: "This is where we really need the Islamic leadership of this country to stand up and contend unequivocally that terrorism, no matter who it is perpetrated by ... is never justified, under the cover of religion."

Me: Peter is right on this one. It has been 2 hours, 23 minutes and 14 seconds since they last renounced terrorism - HOW CAN WE BE SURE THEY STILL RENOUCE IT?!

There is a solution to this.

Y'know those loudspeaker call-to-prayer things they have back where these people come from? Well, bring them here. Install them on every street corner. Then, every hour, on the hour (or more frequently, depending on how unsure we are of their levels of renouncement), we can have the Islamic leaders, the muslim.. um.. pope.. or whoever it is these people use to tell them what to do and think, to state, unequivocally, that terrorism is never justified.

Actually, better still:
Downer also states "all migrants should speak English" - and I'm sure all those non-English speaking migrants that heard him say that got the message loud and clear.