Clean Filth

Recent scientific developments have resulted in some remarkable achievements.

Clean-Filth - a device has been designed that will convert the filth in the home into Clean-Filth, rather than simply cleaning the house itself.

Ice-Lite - a low calorie and slightly-reduced-methamphetamine drug, which should make it entirely legal and incredibly safe to be used even by children, and those operating heavy machinery.

Dehydrated Water - sure to solve the water crisis, an empty satchel can be poured into your water tank that will adjust the quantity of water to approximately 100%.

Major-Cop-Out - a technique developed by the All Change Is Inherently Evil Institute, that encourages the continuation of the status quo (such as safeguarding jobs for the sole purpose of maintaining votes), regardless of impending environmental consequences, etc.

Idiot-Free Politics - both major parties disband.

Clean-Coal: Rudd proposes clean-coal fund.

It's uncanny!

Cluster buster.

46 nations push for cluster bomb treaty

Forty-six countries agreed Friday to push for a global treaty banning cluster bombs, a move activists hope will force the superpowers that oppose the effort — the U.S., China and Russia — to abandon the weapons.

Cluster bombs. I like to call them, itty-bitty-auto-terrorists, on account of the fact they like to hang around and kill children far more than other ordinance.

Well, except land mines.

Japan, Poland and Romania rejected the declaration. The U.S., Russia, Israel and China snubbed the conference, but Canada, Britain and Germany were on board this time.

Apparently, the Ottawa Treaty that bans anti-personnel land mines still hasn’t been signed by China, Russia or the US, and has been quite effective in stopping the major powers, so it's a positive sign.

Also, mines placed during the Falklands War have kept humans away from areas of Argentina and The Falkland Islands, which resulted in a safe haven for penguins to breed.

The Watched Get To Whinge.

Media Watch victims to have their say on air.
This is great news. A great day for justice and fairness.

You see, the evil lefties at Stalinist ABC's Media Watch, for some reason, cast a judgemental eye on the media.

I know - I cannot think of a single person that would have thunk that.

They pick of frivolous things. Deceit, lies, plagurism, race hate, the list continues.

This is all directed at those in the media - journalists, editors, opinion columnists. Where the great injustice lies, is with the right of reply. How on earth are those directly involved in the media supposed to get access to the media in order to defend themselves? It's impossible, an absurd notion. Their ability to defend themselves is a great concern to the public.

Suspended Exclusivity

No luxuries. Except vehicles it seems.

The SMH and The Age picked this up (and Sez got to it before me) – in Tasmania, 3 members of the Exclusive Brethren got suspended sentences due to criminal activity.

Seems a chap left the Brethren, and “extraordinary and appalling” steps were taken to ensure he never had a relationship with his children. Seems its “emotional abuse.” Seems they flouted court orders.

To be fair, they did go through the proper channels to get family law changed, lobbying government - kudos goes to all parties for preventing that from happening. But, if the government you support won’t make your inhumane actions legal, you have little right to continue unabated.

The old Brethster is often accused of amassing “fighting funds” that are given to families to fight Family Court cases against infidel heretical parents. In this case, $50,000 was amassed for the case to be fought in the Family Court – but, according to the mother, it was just a loan.

Apparently, “it's a system of society of love that you (the father’s council) probably don't understand.”

I don’t know if it’s that difficult to understand. Love may be a four letter word, but it doesn’t usually involve tens of thousands of dollars to hire a QC to prevent your children knowing their father due to the fact he has made slight adjustments to his religious beliefs.

That’s more a system of society of reprisal, or possibly hatred.

During evidence, the mother laughed when asked if there was a photograph of the children's father in the house.

Asked if she had told him that he became a grandfather late in January, she said: "That's not my responsibility."

"That's extraordinary," Justice Benjamin said. "How sad it was that this house was so poisonous to the father that they could not even have a photograph of the father in their home."

Ice cold. And it doesn’t seem like it’s over yet – “The mother also gave evidence that if according to her conscience the law of the land conflicted with God's law, she would reject it.” I don’t know law, but if you violate the same order that resulted in a suspended sentence, I imagine you get a bit of jail time.

Be a martyr, anonymous EB mother, I double dare you.

Two finals notes – the mother’s other lawyer failed in an attempt to close the court to The Age (glad that failed), and why isn’t Family First championing this fight instead of the Greens? These are families directly under attack.

Blunnies.

I was going to comment on Blundstone manufacturing leaving these shores, especially after I praised them many posts ago, but I didn’t.

Now I’m going to, because they soaked up 100’s of 1000’s of dollars before it moved, and will be applying for more.

$345,000 to be precise, from a scheme to aid an industry struggling against cheap imports – the government claims it wouldn’t have paid, had they known.

They’ve received $10 million in the 16 years since 1991 and they produce 1.4 million boots a year, 200,000 would still be made in Hobart, with almost 250 job losses.

Let’s do a little math on that.
250 people make 1.2 million boots a year.
Each manufacturing employee makes 4,800 boots a year, or 13 boots a day.
The prices retail from around $80 to $125, with kids around $65.
Let’s say they get a decent wage, around $20 an hour, or $160 a day.
$160 to make 13 boots is about $12 in labour costs per boot.

But wait, they get money from the government, should factor that in.
$345k from 1.2 million is about 28c off that, so $11.72.

Of course, $10 million over 16 years means they usually get twice that - 60c, $11.30 per boot.

Let’s say retailers have a whopping great 100% markup, and for every manufacturing dollar spent, there is one for sales/marketing, and another for management.

So a $100 shoe is $50 wholesale, $11.30 + ($12 x 2) to make, leaves $35.30. A profit margin of 29.4%. That margin increases to 48%, assuming the shipping and labour is free. Which it isn’t.

It’s not done because of necessity, it done:
* out of greed
* it’s a nice way to increase profit margins
* there is little penalty in outsourcing overseas (read: tariffs)

You cannot stop greed or a desire to increase profits, that’s communism.
You can reduce the feasibility of outsourcing overseas, that’s protectionism.

If you want any jobs, let alone real and diverse jobs (and true independence) in any given country, you have to pick one.

They have a marketing “Here are the facts” on their website now, which just lists the same information reported in the media, while just neglecting the negative facts.

Buying Blundstone is still plausible – just make sure to check the label. But I don't imagine they'll survive the boycotts from their greatest customers.

V Day.

It’s Valentine's Day, and you know what that means!

Self-righteous bloggers harping on about the commercialisation of it, the pointlessness (and odd admiration) of mutilated plants and the meaning of giving them (here, they smell nice, they look nice, so try to stop them from dying straight away), and giving overpriced chocolate boxes to that special person blah blah blah, you get the idea.

Well not this little green puppy, I say – bring it on. We’re just doing what we normally do, and nothing special or interesting. But – I just really don’t care about it.

My Boony/Beefy dolls had a valentine’s message – I think Beefy said “go on, give us a kiss then” to Boony, which is great. Homoerotic dolls.

Wikipedia.

I was looking up on cetaceans, and I discovered a fascinating fact - as one often does when browsing Wikipedia...


I was sceptical at first, but it was on Wikipedia, so it must be true. Evolution Is A Lie, God Created Everything.

See, I had no idea. Wow. It's Also Acceptable To Place All First Letters In A Sentence In Uppercase. Double wow.

Holy crap, I just refreshed that page and that enlightening info appears to have been removed. Darn.

Couple of things.

Why isn’t this news? I was flipping through the latest Hansard when I came across this:

SAME-SEX RELATIONSHIPS
Senator NETTLE (New South Wales) (10.45 am)—I move:
That the Senate notes the right of the Australia Capital Territory Government to legislate for the legal recognition of same-sex relationships.

AYES: ALP, Greens, Democrats, Family First.
NOES: Liberals, Nationals.

On page 15 (PDF page 29), of 08/02/2007 Hansard.

Family First, sticking up for the rights of same-sex couples? Nice, although Fielding just seems to be voting the same was as Greens on everything nowadays... People, please - read Hansards.

REVA

In other unrelated news, apparently the Reva electric car has, seemingly in the 11th hour, been accepted for a trial in WA. It's not much, but it's a start.

Howard sizzles.

Little Johnny, the cracks are showing.

Wow, just.. wow. First Howard cocks up by mis-hearing a climate change question in parliament, then he gets both pwned in the polls, and makes some hideously irrational jibe at US Democrat hopeful Obama.

It's a little sad to see him burn out like this. I think I noticed a slight tear whilst he was (obviously) feigning a jolly disposition.

The Exclusive Brethren better start backing Labor, or maybe Dem/Greens - we need that strong US alliance to fend off those pesky Asians.

Speak of EB,

I notice Sarah and I had our blogs linked to by peebs.net, "a cyber-community where those who have escaped (or are about to escape) the EB can come to find Help, Friends and a Safe Place." I've been there a few times, they appear to provide an amazing service to survivors, for which they should be commended.

Apparently, the clarity of my post was encouraging (I'm honoured), and "the above commentary was echoed in another well-constructed Blog called 'The Voice of Today's Apathetic Youth'".

Coal Miners Saved!

Anna Boobs Nicole Sm.. boobs.

Anna Nicole Smith was found unresponsive in her room around 1:30Am.

I'd just like to say - that pretty much sums me up, I'm unresponsive until around 8-ish most days.

Anna, you are weak. Goodbye.

Oh, and drugs - they're bad.

Australian's all let us fear this:

So Mandy wrote a song about all the things we, as Australians, value. Not sure if it's what we all value, or what most of us value, or just some of us, or if it's what we are supposed to value if we are true-blue Aussies, or if these are just the values FOB's are supposed to value, if they are for immigrants as well as refugees, darkies as well as proper people, or what. (I could go on.)

I have penned (does entering it via a keyboard count as penning it?) I have keyboarded a bit of a song, it's unfinished so far, about all the things we, as Australians, fear.

(Or are supposed to be fearful of.) Some of it rhymes already, the rest are just notes.

I call it: Nothing To Fear, But:

We have nothing to fear but:

(RHYMES:)

Airline cutlery
Heavily spectated scenes

Brownies on the beaches
Polly-fiddling preachers

Pocket knives, box knives
All a threat to your lives
Any metal - don't fly
That guys got a shifty eye

Bombs in: buses and planes,
And the Commonwealth Games, (ooh I wrote this a while back, but it was a big issue.)
Any underground trains
Wiggling plastic in the brain (with respect, I believe that's one of Vanstones...?)

(DOESN'T RHYME:)

towel heads
hermits from afghanistan
icbms
running rampant government
authoritiarian states
lost freedoms
poverty
hidden women in burkas
bulky out of season clothing
backpacks
suspicious activity
the use of a garage in strange hours
photography of buildings, bridges, statues,
North Korea (not) South Korea (but) Marilyn Manson (We Didn't Start the Fire ref.)
insurgents
extremists
queue jumpers
etc..

and maybe, if there's any left, you might just fear fear itself.

That's all so far, I'm sure there's more we need to fear. Hopefully it will be completed one day, and it can be a matra sung at schools, so that our children, and our children's children, can be constantly reminded of what we are supposed to fear. Lest they forget, and grow relaxed and content.

Exclusive Brethren at it again.

Those Exclusive Brethren just can’t get a break. The Age got hold of a nasty little letter (which doesn't show up in their own search anymore - cease and desist maybe?) from a few years back, that pretty much said the following:

Howard will maintain economic prosperity.

It seems Howard’s Christian reign is the Exclusive Brethren’s reward for their “maintenance of the Divine standard". I’m not entirely sure why God can no longer be trusted, but it seems he needs a helping hand. Maybe they’ve strayed from their path, and direct action to support Howard is the only way.

There is an “Asian threat” that Howard will deal with.

We need to strengthen ties with the USA and Britain to ‘protect us from the Asian threat”.

And the Whitlam Labor government years were “awful”.

“There was (a) serious decline in moral standards resulting in bad laws, strikes and union strife, poor economic management, high unemployment, very high interest rates (and) difficult trading conditions”.

From Matthew, 21:12: “Thou shalt strive for good laws, obedient workers, weak unions, good economic management, low unemployment, low interest rates, and above all else (bar support of Jesus), thou shalt strive for a free market economy.”

(You sort of have to translate it a bit creatively, but that’s hardly new…A more accurate translation has Jesus having a bit of a hissy fit over people mixing business with religion – which is pretty much exactly what the Exclusive Brethren does.)

"The media have joined with the opposition to attempt to discredit the Prime Minister (John Howard) and make him a liar based on falsehoods …" they said. "We should be cast on our faces before God and be united in spirit and in prayer, so that He may come in for us in view of the present government being retained."

It’s a media-ALP conspiracy to call him a liar by lying about his lies! Howard is (or at least, his spin doctors are) mostly too clever to lie outright, but there are a few out there. But what I don’t understand is, how can you tell that the media is spreading lies when you are not allowed access to media due to your faithful convictions? How does that work? Did you accidentally glance at a newspaper and pick all that up? Without access to any form of media, how can you have the vaguest idea of what’s happening in the outside world, let alone anything resembling a (seemingly not obvious to the rest of us) detailed knowledge of modern politics and a current media conspiracy?

Maybe God told them? Must've.

Their ex-leader claims this is a “call to arms”, but the next day (and someone in the Brethren must got the heads-up from Jesus about the article in the newspaper about them) a certain Phil McNaughton from Beecroft NSW wrote a letter to the editor.

Phil claims the article had a “number of inaccuracies”. It wasn’t a call for action, it was just a call to pray for Howard to win (I guess the action that ensued from the call-to-action-that-wasn’t must have just been a misunderstanding.) Actually, not a misunderstanding according to Phil, just a coincedence.

All those occurrences, in the USA, New Zealand, Australian federal, Tasmanian, Victorian – coincidences. Just because Exclusive Brethren members in various locations just happened to do the same thing at the same applicable time, sometimes in the same format, is just a fluke.

They do regret the use of “Asian threat” as a term, what they meant was that ties with the US and Britain need to be totally solid especially due to the South-East Asian terrorism threat.

Because, y’know, helping them out in every single war thus far just doesn’t cut it. And, well, the US has been known to leave us both to die alone before, so it could happen again. And if anyone knows how to stop the terrorists, it’s those two.

Anyway, he continues thusly:

“Mr Bachelard claims the letter was signed by each of the church's state leaders. The church has no state leaders. In fact, four of the eight signatories live in NSW.” I have no idea how that last sentence has any purpose whatsoever. Four of the eight are from NSW? The other four could be from the remaining 5 states. And don’t chastise a reporter for inaccuracies about a secret cult – that’s like getting mad when someone doesn’t know the number you’re thinking of. There is only one leader, and that’s Jesus Christ. Actually no, it’s Bruce Hales. Sorry, I always get those two mixed up.

“The letter was written by concerned senior members of the church.” Oh, they weren’t leaders, just one Elect Vessel, and it’s just a simple little letter by concerned folk. Senior folk. That all signed it.

“Considering the outcome of the 2004 election, I am confident many Australians, whatever their religious beliefs, shared their views.” Oh so true, we’ve never been in so much debt, the country is on fire or burnt (no word on brimstone), there’s no water, interest rates are up, there’s a struggle to find homes, to simply survive, we can only make any money from selling rocks...

Yeah, I’m with you on that one.

(Oh, and under Rudd, the ALP might grow some balls and vote for the Greens renewed call for an inquiry, he's "concerned", but hasn't committed. Will update with the results.)

Get lost with US

From The Age website - possibly slightly inappropriate ad placement.
Go overseas and never get rescued!!

Actually the story is quite interesting, New Zealand tourists often hide from rescuers, because some overseas countries in Europe and North America charged for costly rescue missions.

The article mentions a ride in a chopper costs $3500, and in the past five years over 9000 people have been rescued, costing taxpayers $6.5 million.

Going into debt to save your life sounds a bit rediculous, but then again... *glances at healthcare*.

Less L.E.D. F.U.D.

LED arrangement CAN be made less fear-inducing.

Young Devil David.

The original (un-humanized) photograph of young David Hicks.

God Hates Urethral Penetration

I can't seem to embed the clip, so here is the YouTube link.

My thoughts on the matter:

"Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind: it is abomination" King James.

So, the sin seems to be: Don't "lie" (Bible-speak for fuck) men the same way as women.

It is, ultimately, sound advice.

If you fuck women by penetrating their gender-organ (vagina in this case) with your penis, then you shouldn't penetrate a man's gender-organ with your penis. Realistically, this is just common sense - the urethral opening of (and I think it's safe to say) ALL penii aren't really cut out for penetration. There aren't even any photos of such a thing on the internet. (Don't correct me if I'm wrong, I'll live in ignorance if that's OK.)

Technically speaking, the female urethra doesn't get any action anyway, so the whole point is void anyway.

The only other interpretation is that you shouldn't use the anus of women if you are going to use the anus of men. Probably sound advice, and it shouldn't impact on too many of us. Another meaning could be that you shouldn't use the same technique on men as women, but I think even pick-up lines show that to be common sense too.

The moral is simple - do men differently than women, and God is cool with it. I mean, if He really cared, surely He would have been a bit more specific.