It's the mob Jim, but not as we know it.

And now a word from our sponsor:

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Retribution for the attacks have begun, and groups persecuted are organising to "punish" their mistreatment. First and foremost is the Ambulance personnel, whose head has claimed "we are coming to get you white supremacist bastards. You will think twice before you attack us or our vans again."

Groups of Ambulance staff have reportedly been seen attacking parked vehicles with stethoscopes and drip stands.

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Vanstone today comments: "These people are no longer welcome in Australia, we have tried to assimilate them, but it does not appear to be possible. Therefore, we call all of these rascists, white or otherwise, to volunteer yourselves to Immigration for extradition. This extends to rascists whose families stem back to the First Fleet, they are all refugees to some degree, and will be sent home. This should be only as difficult as a check of a handful of historic records. For Aboriginies, the homes to be sent back to will require some archaelogical research.

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Many in the pale mob were wearing short to no sleeves, and were unfortunate enough to be exposed to the harsh sunlight during their rampaging on Sunday. This has resulted in a substantial increase in the number of citizens of brown colour.

Reports are coming in of caucasians attacking one another, mistaking their new skin tone as a sign of inferiority. The irony is duly noted by police groups. Here is an artists rendition of the change: