Strawman

“Prime Minister John Howard believes workers will welcome plans to give bosses increased powers to sack staff if it means getting rid of annoying colleagues.”

Oh Mr Howard, Mr Howard!!

I’ve got something for you to clutch at Mr Howard:


Here’s some, and here’s some more:

Try clutching at these, Sir, they are especially devoid of any likeness to a real-world scenario.

Twat.

Think of England

US Army private Lynndie England was sentenced to three years' jail and granted a dishonourable discharge by a military court today for her role in abusing Iraqi prisoners at the Abu Ghraib prison near Baghdad.

"I though they were chickens, like in a factory chicken farm" pleaded the former factory chicken farm worker. "I didn't know they were human beings - this contradicts everything the administration has vaguely insinuated in a round-about way."

Similarities between chickens and terrorists were pointed out by England's legal team - including cowardly acts of terrorism, and the strange ‘clucking-esque’ noises foreigners make.

"My client is a simple person, an average American - not very well trained, and was confused by the way the inmates were treated – (in) such a similar manner to the cruel chicken farming techniques used in her home town” claimed her lawyer in reference to her home town’s chicken farming techniques, and the semblance thereof. “Putting up with the horrific screeches of tortured poultry erodes any sense of compassion with those that are surrounded by it, and this should be taken into consideration whilst my client is charged with being a scapegoat”

The greatest crime, claimed the judiciary, was that inmate torture was the explicit authority of the civilian contractors, such as Anteon, employed specifically for tormenting purposes, and the military should ensure in the future that there is adequate training in avoiding politically detrimental photography.

Buddy, could you spare a dime?

Hello Liberal voters.

How are you? How’s your day been?

Bit tired? Working overtime again? To pay the bills and the petrol refill?

Life is tough isn’t it, Liberal voter. Why it seems only yesterday you were considering investment properties, house renovations, and plasma TVs. Oh you got one of those? That’s just great, good for you.

Must be nice watching Insiders, The 7:30 Report and Media Watch on the big short-life-span dead-pixel-ridden wide-screen like that. What’s that? Never heard of those shows, oh look, it doesn’t matter now - it’s far too late to get educated.

Looking for a second job are we, Liberal voter? Oh you needn’t worry – once your job is casual, you will have a right to choose from many increasingly lower paid jobs - available to the lowest bidder. Don’t miss a house payment, Mr Liberal voter, Mr Big Bank might have to use the foreclosure stick on a no job security raggedy arse casual no-good-nik can’t hold down a job slob such as yourself.

My interest rates are low aren’t they? That’s a good thing, else the Reserve Bank send the entire country into economic collapse. Boy, what were you thinking when you got that TV?

Isn’t it fascinating, when told how well the economy is doing, when so many working families are requiring the Salvation Army’s help to feed and clothe themselves? Does seem rather odd doesn’t it, Liberal voter?

Why is everyone paying at the bowser with a credit card, that is also very odd, don’t you think? Seems EFTPOS and cash seem to be out of fashion perhaps.

Yes, the economy is booming, everyone is rich from housing profits, why is consumer confidence down? Why does spending exceed income? Why has disposable income shrunk to naught, and why, dear voter, does every human in this country have $22,000 in foreign debt alone?

Perhaps we need to extend this illusion of wealth – get out the Monopoly set, pour the entire bank onto the bed or bath, and roll around in it – yes that’s it, you are rich remember. And also relaxed and comfortable. Rolling around in the illusion of wealth is a great way to relax after a hard 16 hour day.

Remember the 8-8-8 day - Labour, Recreation, Rest, that people and unions fought so hard for so many years ago? It’s still here, don’t fret – it’s just that Recreation has been replaced with Overtime. You can’t recreate what with no backyard in your Mc Mansion anyhow, so it’s no great loss.

See wikipedia – Eight hour day. Why there’s Melbourne flag. See, here’s the updated version:


(Click for high-res. Kudos flickr.)

History revised.

What’s that? You thought you voted with your hip pocket? Of course you did. Perhaps it’s someone else’s hip pocket you voted for, just remember, Left policies aren’t sustainable, or in your economic interests.

Look at my HECS debt, Liberal voter. Isn’t it nice? I may also start to do overtime, just so I can study part time. You know it makes sense – much more than, say, the Greens policy of income tax $4 a week up to wipe out HECS fees altogether. Sounds like that tax cut you got, doesn’t it? How far did that go, that and the other $6 one? Made you a millionaire yet? Doesn’t seem to have had an effect? Oh dear, that is a shame.

Have a beer. Are you comfortable yet?

Don’t mind me, it’s just tax time is all.

Oils ain't oils

Grand Final day is exciting for me now.

It marks the day that everyone can shut the hell up about football for some number of months.

---

Once again, the federal government has a budget surplus. I don't see how this is anything to crow about - isn't it just a way of saying - "We taxed you more than we spent on you!"?

Beazley suggests the government should use the 'unexpected windfall' to help ease the bowser burden. And encourage people to use ethanol.

I'm not entirely sure why biodiesel is not harped on about as much as ethanol. I know there's sugar corporation political donations to consider, but ethanol really is not great for engines.

This is why it is frustrating to be a Green, petrol prices reach a high level, NRMA heads, etc tell us it won't go down in price. In a last minute desperate decision - they try and do the thing that The Greens wanted to do all along. And, if done earlier, as in Germany, things continue smoothly, there’s no economic risk. People in Germany are buying biodiesel (which is available at pumps) instead of petroleum diesel, just because it is cheaper, although it is subsidised. In Germany, 1 in 3 cars is a diesel, in Australia it’s a miniscule amount.

A few years ago, people brewing their own biodiesel in Ireland were getting arrested for (fuel) tax evasion. And, a few years ago, Howard decided to help the biodiesel groups by (at that time you could get a litre for around 30 cents) increasing the tax on it from 0 a litre, to 30 cents a litre. Doubling the cost of it. And now, he wants to make it all better. You twit John. Have a little foresight ffs.

People should be saying “I told you so” – but economic shock is not something anyone wants, and if the only countries that avoid oil shortage costs are the ones that had green changes in politics, what does that say?

Plus, there was a US college that studied if biodiesel could be used to replace all of America’s (insane) levels of fuel consumption – and it was possible, all that was required was a large number of large algae tanks in a sunny desert, and would require salty sea water, and sewerage waste as inputs, and could easily be processed to output the vast quantities of vegetable oils required. The only difficult step would be converting everyone’s engines to diesel. (A far lesser problem in a country such as Germany)

Pot-head extraordinaire Willie Nelson is selling it in the US (BioWillie) – and as he says ‘I didn’t know you could grow your own fuel – why didn’t they teach us this in school?’ A legitimate question, I’m not sure how widespread diesel knowledge is.

Rudolf Diesel invented a new engine, and it ran on peanut oil. It was called an ‘oil engine’, it used compression. That really should have been the end of the story.

'Between 1911 and 1912 he stated:

"The diesel engine can be fed with vegetable oils and would help considerably in the development of agriculture of the countries which use it"

He also predicted that:

"The use of vegetable oils for engine fuels may seem insignificant today. But such oils may become in course of time as important as petroleum and the coal tar products of the present time." '

Brilliant man, what an idea – everyone can grow their own fuel.

He was on a ship to England. Vanished. Was found floating dead.

Wikipedia: “After Diesel's death, the Diesel engine was re-engineered to only run on diesel fuel derived from petroleum”

Oh.

Conspiracy theories are something I really find only humour in, but the diesel one is odd, and if anything, just plain annoying. I’m not going to cast aspersions on oil companies, and there is little need, as the peanut oil engine was invented, and with some effort, we could be using it.

Although we really don’t.

Until now, when we are being forced to consider it moreso. 92 years after Mr Diesel died.

Now for something completely different

Here are some photos of my dogs:


Awwww....


Awwwwwwwwwww....


AWWWWWW!!!!!! (I got him unstuck, he was fine)

RIP

Well, it was good whilst it lasted.

104 runs without wicket.

But, we have to all admit, that it's over, and it's time to get on with our lives.

I know it may be difficult for some, for others, it's much the same.

There will always be the chance to correct the misfortune over the weekend, a few years from now we might just get there.

.

.

.

I am of course, talking about democracy in Australia. I'm gonna miss the little guy.

We had some good times, the voting, the freedom to protest, to dissent, all in a peaceful, respected manner. The peace will live on, but the freedoms are taking a dive.

From Brian Walters of The Age:

Last weekend our nation crossed a line
..
When we violate human rights - such as the right to free speech - we compromise our integrity as a nation, and the very basis of the democracy upon which our national security is founded.
..
Liberal democracy is built on human rights, including the freedom to vigorously exchange ideas.
Unless Parkin's treatment is a grotesque error, we have stepped over the line separating liberal democracy from more sinister forms of government.

Scott Parkin is a peace activist from Texas, a Greenpeace volunteer, a teacher, no history of violence, no association with terrorists, no advocation of violence of any kind, he has passed all security checks, he was on holiday, participating in non-violent protest tactics workshops, for groups such as Friends of the Earth, he performed some anti-war street theatre outside the Halliburton office in Sydney, he had been camping and hiking in Australia.

• He was arrested in Melbourne Saturday.
• He has been in solitary confinement since.
• His visa has been cancelled.
• He is being charged $124 a day while in prison.
• The immigration department claimed it was on 'character grounds'
• They changed the story later to 'security grounds'.
• Perhaps he'll next be charged on coffee grounds?
• He has not been told why he has been arrested.
• He is anxious, baffled, but coping 'remarkably well', he wants to leave.
• Julian Burnside QC is fucking pissed off.
• Attorney-General Philip Ruddock could apply for a certificate under the National Security Information Act that would prevent the tribunal hearing the case - if this happens, he will never know what he has done wrong, and why he was locked up

If there is a sufficient reason for this treatment, then all is well, and it would be nice for Phil to let us know about terrorist activity on our soil, especially amongst groups we may be inclined to believe were far removed from such things.

If we never find out, or if the reason given is meagre, then we have crossed the line, and democracy left Australia 10/09/2005. When industrial action protestors have to hide their identity in fear of employers, when seemingly random arrests are made, when fear of the government spreads amongst the peaceful and harmless, the line is crossed, and it's not as fuzzy as it was whilst approaching.

But, freedom is a phoenix. After The Ashes, it will always be resurrected. For now, we can all still vote without fear, just not with our feet.

Cricket

Now I'm not a huge fan of pretty much any sport, but...

...man, IF YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF A CRICKET REPLAY, AND RAIN HAS STOPPED PLAY SO A RECENT GAME IS DISPLAYED, HAVE A FUCKING WATERMARK, BECAUSE IF I SWITCH OVER AND SEE AUSTRALIA FOR 279-7 (AT THE MOMENT) DURING THE ASHES, I MIGHT JUST BE A LITTLE PISSED WHEN I FIND OUT IT'S NOT THE CURRENT MATCH.

I MEAN FOR FUCKS SAKE, YOU CAN PUT THE SBS WATERMARK ON THERE, SCROLLING TEXT EVERY NOW AND THEN IS NOT ENOUGH TO INFORM US, IT IS BAD FOR THE HEALTH OF AUSTRALIANS. ARRRGGHH.

(Emphasis mine.)

Lost goods.

The effects of Katrina continue.

Animal rights groups are attempting to help abandoned pets.


Awww wook at da widdle puppy.

Ashley McDonald, the Australian who got arrested for doing something whilst drunken, on Bourbon Street, the infamous party strip, was not suprisingly found arrested and made his way to maximum security. I feel for his family that assumed the worst, and I salute his abilities to continue the Australian way of life, and all of it's TRUE values, even under threat of a hurricane.

And by that I mean getting pissed and making a dick of himself.


But, there's another side to the story, involving his sister Jasmine:

Jasmine, who lives in the US, was desperate for some goodies from Australia - Vegemite and Tim Tams - but the stash was left in McDonald's luggage back in the flood-hit city of New Orleans.

She will probably never get the goods.

"Yeah, she was looking forward to them," McDonald said.

"Hopefully we'll find them."

So, after donating a hefty sum to the Red Cross, please, think of the Tim-Tams and Vegemite that has been lost.

I call upon Americans, especially the corporate sector, to aid in this. I'm not sure who could help, but at a guess I would suggest maybe Arnotts owner: the American Campbells Soup Company, and perhaps Kraft owners - the American Altria Group, the multinational formerly known as Philip Morris. *cough*

Alas, only the profits from Tim-Tams and Vegemite sales make it to the US, the products themselves rarely do. So, I'm thinking, tobacco giants and powdered salty water called 'soup' conglomerates, could do a bit of PR here... I'm thinking 'life-time supply', I'm thinking 'tears of joy', it's a great angle, a real 'feel-good' story.

---

As a side note, I was looking for a picture of Ashley McDonald, struggling, I searched on the Herlad Sun page (top right), the results came from:

The Sydney Morning Herald, The ABC and The Age

... good work Herlad Sun, you might want to put a 'Search Site' on the front page, instead of sending people to competing news sites. (OK, it's probably not their fault, it might be Yahoo's search Overture)

---

As another side note, wikipedia says: "Tim Tams are an approximately cuboid chocolate biscuit." Is that not funny?

Ashes = Crashes

PM urges bosses to be flexible for Ashes.

*sniff* What's that in the air? *sniff* Oh no! - I smell a rant!

Prime Minister John Howard has urged employers to show flexibility if their workers are bleary eyed after watching the must-win deciding Ashes cricket Test against England.

"Well of course the hours are a little different," Mr Howard told the Nine Network.

With a dry cool wit like that, he could be PM one day!

I would encourage, as I do in all matters relating to workplace relations, flexibility.

You spin me right round baby, right round, like a record baby right round round round.
Warne needs to spin like that, wow. Look at how he couldn't give a flying shit about workers unless they're a bit tired from the cricket watching - which, as our cunning leader so aptly notes - THE HOURS ARE A LITTLE DIFFERENT IN MERRY OLD ENGLAND.

It makes the drive to work so much more exciting when you're nodding off on the freeway. But at least you saw the cricket!

To segue this, I went to the 3,000 strong union meeting (why do they call it a rally? It's a bunch of people sitting down quietly for a couple of hours.) It was interesting - after you wade past the 'Socialist Alliance! Capitalism sucks but GIVE US MONEY!' peoples.

There's one thing to note about unionists - they're predominately quiet normal hard working people. At the June 30 rally of 120,000 odd people, most everyone was walking quietly. Not chanting, not cheering jeering swearing fist waving lunatics. You never see this - probably because it doesn't make for particularly interesting television pictures - it'd be pretty boring watching what most of the rally was doing most of the time. People walking along, discussing television, the weather, work matters, how if one of them breaks wind how many of the ensuing masses will cop a nosefull. They showed the footage of the screaming crowd at the front waving whatever was in their hands at that particular time as they performed en cue.

At yesterday's do, the media had to leave early, apparently this is not common. My guess is some of the speakers are under threat, some pointed out there were certain things they could not say. It was really quite creepy as the camera crews left, free media has to go in a police state I suppose. It made me sad. But, back onto a lighter note, the media had recorded some of Combet, etc, and all they had was a few rounds of moderate claps from the audience, and a quite hand-raising vote or two. At this point, the chairman had to step in, and try to rile us up to do what we knew was what the camera's wanted, and that was a roaring cheer of 'no' or whatever the hell it was we were supposed to say and raised our voting hands. Then the chairman said 'OK, that's enough' - to which came a roaring laughter at the absurdity of it all. I don't think that would have made the cut. We are but dolphins in hoops?

Away I go

OK, going to my first Greens local branch meeting tonight - Andrew Bolt suggests they are an evil cult and stuff, so if I come back seemingly deranged.. uh.. moreso, then let me know.

I regret nothiiiiiinnnnnnnggg.......... *plonk*

Insert Clever Witty Title That Won't Be Fully Appreciated Here

This was actually going to be a post at Mr Lefty's post about how the batters-for-the-other-team-not-that-there's-anything-wrong-with-that got the thumbs up for the with-this-no-pun-intended-ring-I-thee-wed in California, but it got a bit long. (Did that sentence make any sense? No? Good.)

Sometimes it's hard to imagine our puritan image of America allowing this sort of thing, but realistically, they're still the ones that brought us Sex and The City, Queer Eye, Baywatch, etc.

When I was young(er), you couldn't even swear on TV - Lethal Weapon just isn't the same on DVD if they don't say 'frig' - and who could forget Eddie Murphy’s terribly edited boss in Beverly Hills Cop? AO indeed.

Now we’ve got women (and even men sometimes) waving their wobbly bits, and using the f and even the c word on the boob toob. AND both genders have been making of the whoopee with the (MS Word just corrected my spelling of ‘whoopie’ with ‘whoopee’ – learn something new everyday) uh.. making the whoopee with their respective genders. Quite often. And it’s celebrated – the personality stereotype is anyhow.

This is of course merely the television aspect of it, but it all rings true.

“OMG! There’s a swing to the right!”

I think that’s silly. “Oh but there’s a backlash to gay marriages! Swing to the right I say”

As opposed to when?

Were there gay marriages in the 17th century?

There’s no swing there, if anything, the progressives got a little too post-modern and we got a bit of a kick in the pants.

A righty buddy said to me: “you can’t have gays marrying! What’s next? A guy can marry his dog?!”

Me: *blank stare*

But he conceded, it is bound to happen, but he just doesn’t like it. As Lefty says – it’s a bit icky.

Making a mess of a public toilet is icky - it affects others.

So to all those evangalists, and others stuck in the past:
Rock music was sent by the devil? Old.
Rock music was sent by Jesus? New.

Burn the witch! Old.
Harry Potter helps children! New.

Homosexual marriage is evil? Old.
Homosexual marriage is normal? New.

Male pope? Old.
Gay female pope? New.

We won't make a big deal of it when you come over to play in our pool, I can see you dipping your toes in. Notice the warmth? Jesus-ish warmth? That's the way. Don't feel too bad, humans are fallible after all, you knew not what you did.

Adventures at Kirribilli House, Episode 02

Thinking in moderation.

Blundstones + Rant = Monday Funday!

Today I'm going to talk about Blundstones.

Yes, the traditional Aussie workboot.



There she is.

Ain't she a beaut?

Starting way back in around 1870ish, John and Eliza Blundstone arrived in Hobart, set up shop, and history was made.

In 1979, Blundstone became the first Australian footwear manufacturer to receive a Design Award from the Industrial Design Council of Australia

And in 1986 the company was the recipient of an Australian Export Award.

It has strong links to the Defense Forces - employs 380 staff, makes Army boots, etc etc.

Yes, they export to the world, we are brilliant manufacturers of footwears.

Now, I am not an economist. But, if all the shoes on the market are made in China/Vietnam/whom ever else is exploitable this season, and they are going for well over $50, in many cases several hundreds.

To employ expensive Australian workers, therefore Blundstones must increase their prices accordingly. Thus, they must be a few thousand dollars each, if my calculations are correct, which they may not be because I just made that number up.

They're around the $100 mark depending on the shoe.

So where the hell is the saving from outsourcing to China for the other shoes?

Nowhere, in someone else's pockets, silly, you don't get to see it, on you way son, and don't forget - we need to outsource to compete (with the shareholders), and just think how all this outsourcing has increased your standard of living (if you are a shareholder).

Ever gone to the local gargantuan mall trying to find Australian made clothing/footwear?

It's really not there. You don't have that choice anymore.

Did this shit creep up on us or what? What the hell happened here?

Chances are it will extend to other areas, and what with free trade agreements, reduced tariffs, we won't have any choice but to compete, or just plain do something else. Although there doesn't appear to be much the first world can do that the third world can't do cheaper. White collar jobs have already started heading out the door, they're even leaving India.

I remember joking - if we are going to have foreign slaves, why not just quit hiding behind outsourcing bullshit, save on shipping costs and bring our Dollar-A-Day struggling to feed the family slaves into the country. Unfortunately, with guest worker influx, my joke isn't funny anymore.

Howard is doing the exact opposite of what needs to be done - cutting import tariffs, setting up so-called Free Trade Agreements. Here's a whacky idea for ya - increase tariffs by a massive margin depending on the factors of the country you are dealing with - the rate of child labour, the working conditions, the likelyhood of death at work, the ability to survive on given wages. If you can't get the data, assume the worst. Would this not solve all of these problems? Create jobs maybe?

Productivity is simply another word for the closeness of zero pay, for a given amount of work.

When will people learn?