Buddy, could you spare a dime?

Hello Liberal voters.

How are you? How’s your day been?

Bit tired? Working overtime again? To pay the bills and the petrol refill?

Life is tough isn’t it, Liberal voter. Why it seems only yesterday you were considering investment properties, house renovations, and plasma TVs. Oh you got one of those? That’s just great, good for you.

Must be nice watching Insiders, The 7:30 Report and Media Watch on the big short-life-span dead-pixel-ridden wide-screen like that. What’s that? Never heard of those shows, oh look, it doesn’t matter now - it’s far too late to get educated.

Looking for a second job are we, Liberal voter? Oh you needn’t worry – once your job is casual, you will have a right to choose from many increasingly lower paid jobs - available to the lowest bidder. Don’t miss a house payment, Mr Liberal voter, Mr Big Bank might have to use the foreclosure stick on a no job security raggedy arse casual no-good-nik can’t hold down a job slob such as yourself.

My interest rates are low aren’t they? That’s a good thing, else the Reserve Bank send the entire country into economic collapse. Boy, what were you thinking when you got that TV?

Isn’t it fascinating, when told how well the economy is doing, when so many working families are requiring the Salvation Army’s help to feed and clothe themselves? Does seem rather odd doesn’t it, Liberal voter?

Why is everyone paying at the bowser with a credit card, that is also very odd, don’t you think? Seems EFTPOS and cash seem to be out of fashion perhaps.

Yes, the economy is booming, everyone is rich from housing profits, why is consumer confidence down? Why does spending exceed income? Why has disposable income shrunk to naught, and why, dear voter, does every human in this country have $22,000 in foreign debt alone?

Perhaps we need to extend this illusion of wealth – get out the Monopoly set, pour the entire bank onto the bed or bath, and roll around in it – yes that’s it, you are rich remember. And also relaxed and comfortable. Rolling around in the illusion of wealth is a great way to relax after a hard 16 hour day.

Remember the 8-8-8 day - Labour, Recreation, Rest, that people and unions fought so hard for so many years ago? It’s still here, don’t fret – it’s just that Recreation has been replaced with Overtime. You can’t recreate what with no backyard in your Mc Mansion anyhow, so it’s no great loss.

See wikipedia – Eight hour day. Why there’s Melbourne flag. See, here’s the updated version:


(Click for high-res. Kudos flickr.)

History revised.

What’s that? You thought you voted with your hip pocket? Of course you did. Perhaps it’s someone else’s hip pocket you voted for, just remember, Left policies aren’t sustainable, or in your economic interests.

Look at my HECS debt, Liberal voter. Isn’t it nice? I may also start to do overtime, just so I can study part time. You know it makes sense – much more than, say, the Greens policy of income tax $4 a week up to wipe out HECS fees altogether. Sounds like that tax cut you got, doesn’t it? How far did that go, that and the other $6 one? Made you a millionaire yet? Doesn’t seem to have had an effect? Oh dear, that is a shame.

Have a beer. Are you comfortable yet?

Don’t mind me, it’s just tax time is all.