Stupid Searches

OK it's time for another Stupid Searches That Ended Up Here. Or SSTEUH. Or perhaps not.

julia gillard spunk - that's a good one. She is a a spunk.

Documentary: "The Fishing Party": Paul Watson - I'm sorry, I have no idea what that is.

pregnancy simulation - I hear Microsoft Pregnancy Simulator 2006 will be out this fall.

the end is neigh - I keep getting this for some reason. THE END IS NIGH. NIGH. Not neigh - a neigh is the sound a horse makes. I was trying to be witty, making reference to the horsemen of the apocalypse, and all I get is idiotic searches.

hairly body - two questions - why would you search for this, and why did I get your visit?

vinegar enema - no matter how vulgar or horrific you make a scenario, like when I mentioned the vinegar enema the big man upstairs was proposing for GW, there's always someone on the internet who will search for it. Get help.

"donkey service" bath - this is interesting. Can the people who visit here with odd searches please leave a comment, because my brain, strong as it is with logical problems, struggles with the reasons for your query. Do you have a donkey? Do you wish for it to be "serviced"? I... have no explanation. These mysteries eat away at me I hope you realise.

Big batrol - there's something painful when you purposely spell a word incorrectly, and you get hits for it. Batrol is not a word. It will never be a word. Do not search for it. There may be 957 Google results, the first result may be a brazillian site called www.batrol.com.br, but a word it is not. And besides, it's small.

gimp sado - fuck off.

christmas watermelon and later: watermelon xmas - why? You're freakin' me out here, random Internet searchie folk.

racism and watermelon - I can see why I'd get it, but why would you search for it?

Watermelon speaking in Calgary - they can talk now? I don't get what you want.

watermelon boobs - 'net perv'.

australian boobs - when none of those foreign New Zealand boobs will do.

"sound of snails" - I don't think they're particularly audible, but it's probably along the lines of a slimy thing, dribbling over mucus.

And lot's of Andrew Higgs results. We know it's you Andrew, stop obsessing over your persona. This is the Internet - you can't control the results (China excepted). Be flattered. And stop cluttering up my otherwise hilariously bizarre queries.

Speaking of China. Just to clog this out of the firewall - Taiwan democracy freedom Free Tibet. Now I'm banned. Sweet.