No water vote, you're too stupid.

Beattie rules out water vote

Pete has decided to skip a vote on whether to introduce water recycling in South-East Queensland. This is pretty much due to the fact that despite recycled water being more pure, people are ignorant and assume it's not.

There is an important lesson there, in the words of Ralph Nader: "Turn on to politics, or politics will turn on you."

Pay attention next time, and you maybe then you can be trusted with a vote. Not a right, a responsibility, etc etc.

Cleric urges Islamic super-state

A RADICAL Muslim cleric has urged hundreds of supporters meeting in Sydney's south-west to join a global push to create an Islamic utopiadystopia.

RADICAL Muslim cleric: "Australia is mostly desert, it is infertile, barren. We, the Islamic radicals, find it appalling that there is useless land not in our ownership. The infidels can keep the rain-soaked, fertile coastal cities, but the rest is ours. Allah promised us shitty soil, it's part of the whole living the humble hard life thing, plus makes it easier to be jealous of the West."

Australia Day.

It’s our national day. A day, nationally, that all Australian’s in Australia (mostly) get off work to allow them to recognize that Australia exists. Without Australia Day, we’d run the risk of having no concept of our own country – some of us would think we were just West New Zealanders or Southern Oceanic Region #3 or something, it’s a seriously important day.

REMEMBER KIDS: AUSTRALIA EXISTS.

And it’s a female country too. A few hours after Tim Flannery got the Bestest And Most-Australian Australian of Year award, he slammed the Most Senior Australian Decision Maker (Howard) for his “dragging the chain” on climate change.

Howard believes in climate change, but he’s not as “fanatical about it as others”, not as “bowled over” by “doomsday scenarios” – which is code for “we are affecting the entire atmosphere of the planet, but only a fanatical fruitcake would believe that could be disasterous.”

Johnny also said “we do have to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, Australia does have to play her part”.

HER part. It’s a chick. Not entirely sure how a country can be a person, can she breed? Popping out little islands after a one night stand with New Zealand? Can a land mass even have a gender? If two continental plates “bump ugly”, for example, Australian and Pacific, then they can create new baby islands. New Zealand is our plate’s illigitimate child, but there is no gender involved, no tectonic penis, Australia is an hermaphrodite.

So have a great hermaphrodite plate day everyone!

Big Flag Out

THE Big Day Out represents three things - a chance for ALL Australians (and New Zealand tag-alongs), whether rich OR poor-but-still-able-to-bum-enough-cash-off-the-parents, whether white OR non-Australian, to go out and experience some of the finest American musicians, for eBay scalpers to make some sweet coin, and for Triple J to harp on about it incessantly for the next 6 months.

The media has been going on about a complete ban on the Australian flag-emblem for all patrons, which loosely translates to the BDO organisers possibly considering a suggestive disclaimer to be wary of causing trouble that includes said stars-and-stripes pattern.

OF course, the beat-up has brought "THEM" out of the woodwork again. You know who I mean, THOSE PEOPLE, the ONES IN THE WOODWORK. *sub-audible toot*

Howard reckons it's offensive, and will be to "millions of Australians". What he's saying is - there are some that aren't offended, some of them possibly aren't Australian, you might even call them un-Australian. *sub-audible toot*

Apparently, "they're running their own political agenda" - I'm not sure what agenda that is, some kind of national self-loathing perhaps.

Patriotism is a form of racism, as event organiser Ken West said: "The Australian flag was being used as gang colours. It was racism disguised as patriotism and I'm not going to tolerate it."

Here's a tip: Australia is not a gang, it's an area.

Organisers also said: "we are not banning the Australian flag but are simply discouraging its use for anti-social purposes" - draping yourself in a flag to declare your convict or white heritage as a mark of superiority is NO DIFFERENT than burning it to specifically incite hatred/violence. They are both anti-social and un-regional (un-region should be the new catch-all for any values discussion - ie: women are bits of meat? That's un-regional for this region!)

The RSL, which pricks it's ears up when anything happens to the Australian flag (if anything bad happens to Australia they don't seem to actually care), pricked it's ears up and had a few choice words to say, but I don't think they made it to print, it's just not marketable without old wind-bag Ruxie.

Kevin Rudd, in true Labor spirit, agrees with Howard: "we should fly it with pride."

Points go to organisers: "Unfortunately the media reports yesterday were not quoted accurately and we must thank the participating media for wasting everybody's time, including John Howard, Morris Iemma, NSW RSL President, Keysar Trad and Burt Lane of the Australian National FlagAssociation.''

Thank you for not only getting the facts wrong, but exploiting nationalist garbage for political points scoring. You are all truly great people.

For all those True-Blue Patriots who love Australia, I suggest the following:

• taxes - pay more, declare nothing - Australia is great, it offers so much, you love it, so give something back.
• clean up Australia - pick up garbage off the streets, you love this land, keep it tidy.
• care for the Australian flora/fauna/environment - you want to defend the rights of Australia to Australian beaches, so defend the rights of native plants to native soil - help defend against queue-jumping animals and plants.
• befriend an Aboriginal - give them a hug.
• volunteer - there are plent of organisations that help Australia, join them.

If you gave a crap about the region of Australia at all, you would have done at least some of these already, because wearing a logo doesn't show appreciation, action does.

Wether the weather.

I haven’t blogged for ages, so I might resume.

The Weather.

The weather is rooted, it's seriously rooted. You can call it climate change, normal drought, natural, whatever, I call it rooted.

It's dry. It's so damned dry the weeds are dying off. I'm not all that concerned about the oxalis, but when it browns naturally, there's a problem.

Half the freakin' state is on fire, or burnt. Everything keeps going orange in the hazy sunlight, visibility is low, and there's a sickening hint of burnt woodland in the air. This happens every few days now.

And what's with this forecast? Today was 'sposed to have a possible thunderstorm, that was cancelled.
Tomorrow: Possible thunderstorm.
Thursday: Possible thunderstorm.
Friday: Possible thunderstorm.
Saturday: Cloud increasing (oh no! More cloud could mean....)
Sunday: Possible thunderstorm.
Monday and Tuesday - Mostly sunny.. (...mostly...)

They need a new category, it's obviously too restrictive. How about 'Possible weather phenomena'? 'Possible entirely, mostly, partially, or no sun, rain, hail, snow, overcast, storm, wind, or any increase, decrease or easing of them."

Admit it, you have no idea. Granted, faith healers and astrologers have a greater success rate than Melbourne meteorologists.

We've got stage 3 water restrictions in place, everyones upset (but still eating lots of meat and rice), the elderly pine for their gardens, everyone but the government and industry points out its the fault of agriculture, and the government responds by sending out water hit-squads, everyones dobbing on one another and everyones afraid of their hoses.

And we had a shocker of a hot day today, so every cock-head retard jams on the freakin' air conditioning, a fire kills the "help us NSW power grid, our fuckers are using air con!" line, and the friggin' traffic lights go dead.

I'd personally like to thank the drivers, who were exceptionally well behaved, I was well impressed. Seriously, at most of them, it was if the lights were still working - as if everyone was imagining the exact sequence and accurate timing in unison. It was a beautiful thing to behold, an unspoken 'the turning traffic has had it's 17.5 seconds, it's our turn now'. From the 20 or so lights I passed, it wasn't even particularly slow, with the only real delay being the apprehension of the people in the front - being the first to turn in front of 4 lanes of on-coming light-free traffic is daunting. Kudos to you, the ONE police officer I saw directing traffic, and that one rather brave Average Joe who did the same at another.

Oh, and a big FUCK YOU to the circuit breaker for the fan in my car that cut out in the middle of a traffic-light-free-40C-in-a-rush-can't-delay day . May the sharp prong of my multimeter that I used to reset you teach you a lesson: Choose a more convenient time to trip, ya bastard.

Oh, and another one to the mechnical engineers at Convair, for not including an o-ring belt adjustment screw. I mean seriously, a fixed clip-in position? You know damn well that things going to stretch. And you didn't fix the pump blades either, how hard is it to put a notch in there? It's going to slip on the belt if there's an obstruction anyway..... I could go on....