Family First's new pamphlet?

Great to see more honesty in politics.

Making fun of Bob Brown.

Someone, somewhere, made the claim: "When the ABC commies fun of Bob Brown, etc - then I'll believe there's no bias." In fact, I've heard it many times now, so here's the reason why it never happens:

Senator Bob Brown, thanks for joining us.

Pleasure, and might I say you look particularly nice tonight.

Thank you.

Yes, that really is a.. spiffy number.

Thank you, it's the ABC's wardrobe and makeup department really.

Oh don't get me started on makeup! Oh Lordy me, don't you find mascara takes forever to apply!

Well, I.. I mostly just get the powder stuff to mask the sweat.. from all the lights.

Oh I bet it's from the lights you saucy devil. *winks*

*ahem* Can we.. start.. with the questions?

Sure, sure.

Mr Brown, as I'm sure you're aware, we here at the ABC will soon have to be very careful to seem unbiased, and some have suggested that even the satirists should be mocking yourself.

Sounds fair to me.

How can they do that?

How can they do what, Brian? Make fun of me? Well, I dunno, I'm not quite the raging comedian myself Brian.

That's just it Mr Brown, the Chaser team has resorted to toilet humor, they spent the last week trying to figure out how to link fart jokes to an attack on your person.

I don't fart Brian, bad for the ozone.

You don't do anything that people can parody.

Well, what do you suggest? What do the other politicans do that gets them parody time?

There's lots of things, hypocrisy and ill-thought-out policy for starters.

We've got that, we've got lots of crazy policies - just check the media. Fielding's got the low down.

Yes, but they're not actually crazy are they Senator?

No, Brian, they're thought through and sound.

So if they satire your crazy policies, they're mocking the media, and not you.

Well there's lots to parody there.

This is serious Senator Brown, we risk losing our license, and the small droplets of funding we manage to get from this government. We need the ability to make fun of you.

Should I get a funny walk maybe. Pull a face. There you go, I just pulled a face, get Dawe in here, he could do that one, it'll have them in hysterics after the 7:30 Report.

That wasn't a face Mr Brown.

Yes it was, look I'll do it again. See? Woohoo, Henderson will cream her pants with that.

Senator, you raised your eyebrows.

That's a face.

No it's not.

I think you'll find it's part of the face Brian, part of the facial structure, I used to be a doctor you know.

Yes Mr Brown, you're a short-haired, neat, sober, educated, sensible and boring politician.

I'm a poof too. You could do something with that. Like Little Britain: "I'm the only gay in the Senate."

You can't even do the voice.

I can't dress up like that chap either, new party rules - suit and tie, no fishnets. Ruined Wednesday nights for me. You ever been to a queer rave in a suit?

I can't say I have.

I mean it's alright if it's crotch-less...

... Senator Brown, this isn't funny.

Brian, I can't just enact some irrational policies for the amusement of people who only watch the ABC so they can see how biased it isn't anymore.

Why not?

I'm one man, I get one vote, I'd need to get a large number of members on board to being in crazy policy.

Senator Brown, we'll have to leave it there, we've run out of time. Coming up next, The Chasers' new series '30 Minutes of Compulsory Right-Biased Bob Brown Senate Speeches With Poignantly-Timed Canned Farts.'

Heavy Torso-Garment Initiative

JOHN Howard has announced new plans to fight climate change. Dubbed the Heavy Torso-Garment Initiative, $455 million will fund an energy industry study into the effects of wearing a jumper instead of heating a household.

“This is a revolutionary proposal” claimed the PM. “It shows just how serious the Liberal party is about climate change, and the welfare of the planet and future generations. There is much research to be done in the field of external clothing layers, and the effect they have on the energy usage of average Australians.”

A spokesman for the energy sector welcomed the tax-payer dollars.

Quick post.

Quick load of stuff.

David Suzuki let it rip at his National Press Club address, swearing repeatedly, broadcast live on ABC TV, criticising everyone from John Howard to his own supporters in the audience for eating the salmon and rice.

"You all sat here and chowed down on farmed salmon and obviously you don't give a s--- about what you're putting into your body," the 70-year-old bellowed. "You know what a farmed salmon is, it's filled with toxic chemicals, I know Tasmanian salmon, those are not Tasmanian salmon. Those are Atlantic salmon that are brought and raised in cages in Tasmania."

Dr Suzuki said Australia was a disappointment to the world because it had not ratified the Kyoto protocol, a pact between industrialised nations to cut carbon dioxide emissions by 2012. He said as a result, Australia had no credibility as a "responsible global citizen".

"I've always thought of Australia as caring about being responsible international citizens, and by rejecting Kyoto, Mr Howard declares that Australia is an international outlaw, not to be bound by these kinds of treaties the rest of the world agrees to."

Dr Suzuki said the global media was more interested in reporting on celebrities such as Paris Hilton, Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, Princess Diana, Michael Jackson and O.J. Simpson, than climate change.

He said if he abused the Prime Minister he would get better coverage.

"If I were to say -- I'm not saying this, but if I were to say -- 'John Howard is an arsehole', I might even get a 10-inch column (in a newspaper)."

Dr Suzuki slammed Australia for allowing rice and cotton farming, and went on to condemn the Government's $350 million drought package for stricken farmers as an "ad hoc, knee-jerk" reaction.

He went on to praise -- sarcastically -- Mr Howard for acknowledging global warming. "Mr Howard has now acknowledged that global warming is happening. Thank God, it's about time," Dr Suzuki said.

"So 'boom', right away the solution is nuclear power. This guy ought to be booted out of office for that kind of approach to the problem, I mean, it's crazy."

Saw a Scouts trailer, on the side it had "You don't need to be Green to be an environmentalist, it's just common sense." and "Nature never did anything by accident." Which I thought was pretty cool.

Just noticed Democrats have a SenateWatch website, with lot's of sad facts about old Johnny's work.

Nice article about climate-sceptic-farmers turned eco-activists here.

Nothing really new happening in Victoria. 60,000 homes have no power, having some earthquakes, usual stuff.

Gary Anderton, honest politician.

Liberal candidate tells it like it is
Liberal candidate not afraid of 'political correctness'
Liberal candidate honest about party policy positioning
Liberal candidate's blog a slur on Aborigines

Notice how the mainstream media's liberal bias shines through? Headline courtesy of Fairfax.

A LIBERAL Party candidate for the state election has declared that Aborigines are congenitally drunk and violent, terror suspect David Hicks should be executed, and he has described an Indian-born doctor as a smelly dud.

"And?" I hear you ask? But get this - the pinko's at The Age just ASSUME that first paragraph will offend you. Seriously.

Gary Anderton, the candidate for the south-east suburban seat of Lyndhurst, posted the comments on his weblog in late 2004.

"Why is this news? Some candidate posted his views on his blog, what's the big deal?" Exactly! Bias, pure and simple.

The www.garyanderton.com site has since been sanitised, linked to the Liberal Party's site, and all trace of the offending comments removed.

So powerful is the left-wing conspiracy, that they can pull the strings of Internet content through their political correctness machine. Even the Wayback machine at the Internet Archive now has only a single page of the blog, or as these socialists put in, the "offending comments".

SUMMARY:
December 22, 2004. Some crap about Swedish identical twin prisoners changing clothes.

November 30, 2004. Complains about the poor sentence that will be given to "crims" that shot a security guard outside a gaming room, they'll plead self-defence ('cause they were shot at first), get compensation and "Victoria will suffer". "This mans blood… will be on the hands of Steve Bracks." Notes that under Robert Doyle (who's not there anymore) "life will mean life", "25 years will mean 25 years." (I hate it when murders get compo and walk free, like.. that case, the one where.. OJ Simpson, yeah - damn Bracks!) He then calls for people to be killed if they've killed - praises lethal injections, and claims the premier should make sure they never be released from jail.

November 25, 2004. Once again, in this post Gary wants people dead. Titled: "Thomas - The Al-Qaeda Arsehole", he notes "I have no sympathy for Thomas at all. Isn't (it) time that we brought in the death sentence. (Die!) Why should Victoria's taxpayer(s) dollars be used to house this man who threatened the lives our our nation, our neighbours, friends and family? Thomas has obviously done wrong to be arrrested. (Arrested = guilt, trial = waste of time, police are entirely trustable - well, aside from that massive mistrust/corruption issue they're in strife for at the moment) It's the same with David Hicks. He was physcially (sic - and by sic I mean Gary fucked up) caught shooting at Australian and American forces in Afghanistan, and he is pleading he has done nothing wrong.

OK, physically shooting is wrong, but mentally or metaphorically shooting at Australian troops is even worse. Turns out, the indictment of Hicks was voided, and no specific acts of violence were alleged. Which does seem a little odd, because "being physcially (sic) caught shooting at Australian and American forces" is probably serious enough to have been mentioned in his indictment. Dunno why they left that out.

Anyway, Anderton continues: "They are not true Australian's (true?), they dont have the spirit of the ANZACS (can I get that at my local bottleshop?), the determination for freedom and world peace (via war I imagine). It's time to take their lives before they take ours. Together, we can get rid of these arseholes." (Kill kill kill, bit of a theme.)

November 24, 2004. Possibly racist(ish) joke about Greek and Italian stereotypes, won't repeat it.

November 14, 2004. We Are Not Sorry. "A fantastic website dedicated to those Americans who voted for President Bush in the election held November 2nd. They have uploaded there (sic, it's fully sic mate) pictures to say to the world, there (sic and tired of writing sic) vote will not be determined by the world, there (ffs sic) vote will be determined by the strength of the leader and the determination to have a world united through peace and the destruction of terrorism."

Can you tell he wanted to say "united through peace, and the war on terrorism" - but just rephrased it? Statistically, those people have changed their minds now - should probably have another website: "OK, We Are Finally Sorry", or "Sorry for not being sorry before, but we're sorry now, we fucked up, people died, yeah, sorry."

November 13, 2004. Gary notes "terrorist leader" Arafat's death, says we should congratulate Howard for pointing out Arafat sucked, and the French and UN aren't serious about terrorism because they lamented his death. (Theme continues - death + bad people = good).

November 12, 2004. Lets Get Rid Of State Government. Gary notes people complain about Bracks a lot, calls his legislation stupid. (That's all I can find.)

The Age has hold of some dooseys:

"Anglo-Saxon Doctor Please"
Gary complains about going to the GP and being seen by "an Indian doctor, of all things, that absolutely stunk and obviously received a full fee degree. In other words, (he had) no idea."

After asking the clinic for an "Australian doctor, that could speak English and was youngish (hopefully female)", he was treated by an "Asain (sic), male, 50s, and had a speech lingo (sic) as good as Melbourne Lord Mayor (John) So".

(What sort of a psycho asks for an "Australian" doctor please? If I went to get my prostate checked, I might ask for a different doctor - if the one on offer was an 8 foot former wrestler with fake nails and loose fitting digital-jewelry... Not that I'm bitter.)

"One warning for this General Practice, one more dud, and it (sic) three strikes (and) your (sic) out," he wrote in the posting on October 25, 2004.

In another entry, "Australian Aboriginals Are Racist As Well", he wrote: "I could go back to genetics … the majority of Australian Aboriginals have a drinking or physical abuse disorder. The percentage is higher than another (sic) cultural group …"Let's be honest, Aboriginals and success do not necessarily go hand-in-hand … Aboriginals are 'ignorant, discriminatory and prejudicial individuals'." (He claimed whilst the smirking kettle prepared its rebuttal.)

Asked by The Age this week about the comments, Mr Anderton admitted they were inappropriate.

"I repudiate those comments and I apologise for any offence caused," he said. "I am from an ethnically diverse background, with members of my immediate family being Malaysian and Aboriginal." (...so my racism is less racists, because I'm ETHNIC, and some of my best friends are ETHNICS, some of 'em strait (sic) of (sic) teh (sic) baot. (sic))

(You repudiate those comments ONLY because they're bad for your career arsehole. If you never wanted to be a politician, they'd still be flowing.)

Mr Anderton said he had cleaned up the website about 18 months ago, before he was endorsed as a Liberal candidate as "part of my personal website redesign".

(Let's see, website redesign time... I might go for a blue motiv, customize the style sheets, hmm.. make it more viewable on 1600 resolution with non-fixed fonts, ditch the 800x600 compatibility, uh.. new title graphic, aaaaand, let's see, what else.. I know, remove the entries where I call for murder and make racist remarks! Oh, and get one of those adorable little weather-pixie things. Neat.)

A spokesman for Ted Baillieu said he accepted Mr Anderton's retraction and the Liberal Party was "happy for his words (on the matter) to speak for themselves".

(He's not even resigning, not even being chastised for fucks sake! "Hey, whatever that bloodthirsty bigot says is cool by me!" doesn't really inspire much faith Ted.

Mr Anderton, 24, is billed on the updated version of his website as a "voice for the local community".

(Yeah, I'll bet. He'll be the voice - you think it, he'll say it, then retract it. Dog whistling, but with robots.txt files.)

But Lyndhurst, which includes parts of Springvale Road, is among the most highly multicultural electorates in the state, with more than 50 per cent of electors born overseas, including large Vietnamese, Cambodian, Sri Lankan and Indian populations.

(Fuck me, how does he tolerate the smell?)

He was uncertain when asked by The Age what had prompted him to become politically active, saying,"It's a really weird question because I don't know the answer to it." Asked about his views on multiculturalism, he said, "I don't think the Liberal Party has released their policy yet."

When the issue of his blog was raised, Mr Anderton initially claimed he was "heading out now, I'll give you a call back". He later emailed the apology.

(Nice work Fairfax.)

Aboriginal academic and education expert Dr Mark Rose said Mr Anderton could be "the best weapon Labor has. The Liberal Party should really think about his extremely racist comments, which are ill-founded, and ill-supported by intellectual capacity," Dr Rose said. "He's playing in the wrong sandpit."

In contrast to Mr Anderton's comments on the Indian GP, the state Liberal Party has a policy to "attract more doctors to country Victoria by recruiting 150 doctors from interstate and overseas".

As federal opposition leader in 1996, John Howard disendorsed Pauline Hanson for her racist comments during the election campaign.

Let's see this chap. Here he is:

Now, there's a few notes I've chucked on there, and I'm sure he approves, on why he's not a real Australian.

"Gary is a Gaming and Hotel Duty Manager."
Admit it, he's a bouncer. A large, Maori bouncer. Look at him, he wants to see your ID, and to know if those are steel-caps. But we can fix this...


There we go! Now he's full of ANZAC spirit! There's just one thing I forgot..



Excellent, that'll deal with the smell.

The 3+ stages of implausible deniability.

The three stages of implausible deniability,
By Helen Coonan, and John Howard.

STAGE ONE: Denial.

Coonan: “The media ownership overhaul will not spark a wave of takeovers in the industry.

*flurry of ownership changes*

STAGE TWO: Denial.

Howard: “This is surprising, but isn’t due to the new laws.”

STAGE THREE: Denial.

Coonan: “OK, it was due to the new laws, but it isn’t surprising. It’s not going to create mergers, owners are just shifting positions.”

Coming up next:

STAGE FOUR: Denial.

*mergers created*

Howard: “The mergers we said wouldn’t happen happened, but it’s a good thing.”

STAGE FIVE: Denial.

*mergers prove to be a bad thing*

Coonan: “The mergers aren’t all that bad, really – it would be worse if all media was owned by a single corporation.”

STAGE SIX: Denial.

*all media owned by one corporation through some cunning loopholes*

Howard: “It was not our intention for those loopholes to exist.”

STAGE SEVEN: Denial.

*documented proof obtained under freedom of information proves loopholes were intentional*

Howard: “…” (Doesn’t matter what he says at this point, the story won’t be picked up by the media.)

Iraq could be another Vietnam, admits Bush

Say's it all really.

Dogs V Cats

Dog dies in fire rescue
I'm sorry people, but the debate is over.

• Cat knocks over candle, sets house on fire.
• Dog brings disabled owner prosthetic leg.
• Dog brings owner telephone.
• Dog drags owner to safety.
• Dog runs upstairs to rescue cat, despite owners screams, dies.

I think this settles the matter. Dogs won. Get over it. RIP Jesse.

Media Watch fix-ation.

Media Watch, I'll admit it needs a few changes, like the following:

• Needs to have 2 to 5 episodes per week, not 1.
• Needs to be at least 1 hour long, not 15 minutes.
• Probably needs more media-watching staff to fill the extended air time.

Are these plans in place? No. Mark Scott claims the following:

• Media Watch is much loved and respected. (Agreed.)
• It will be on the ABC for a long time, I hope. (Agreed, on for long, on for longer!)
• But there is a lot of contention … about what constitutes a good media performance or a bad media performance. (Agre… wait a minute, that doesn't mean anything.)
• There are a lot of different views about media policy and regulation and I would like to see that reflected in Media Watch. (There are? Like what? Who has these different views on media policy? A large number of people?)
• Insiders is a great example as it really does allow that range and plurality of views to be heard … and it doesn't suggest in its style that there is one view that is right.

Former host David Marr summed it up quite well: "When you look at it dispassionately, there isn't much to debate. When you catch somebody plagiarising, what's to debate? When you catch someone faking their sources, what's to debate? When you catch someone telling porkies in the press, what's to debate?"

WHAT IF....

Good evening and welcome to Media Watch. I'm Monica Attard.
And I'm Andrew Bolt, here to provide view plurality.
Journalists at 2GO say they've noticed the repetition of some of their stories on their commercial rival Star 104.5.
Oh come on, the left has a history of plagiarism that stretches back to the days of Nazi Germany, so give it a bone you hypocritical socialist tart.

(later...)

Here's where freelance journalist Tom Winterbourn took the exact same words and sentences from Wikipedia. Wikipedia has become a widely used online research tool even though its information isn't always correct or even verifiable. But cutting and pasting it, word for word, is plagiarism.
Here's another perfect example of the left...
... who's 'the left' Andrew?
You, Monica, are a left winger, ergo you hate Fox News and the Herald Sun, ergo you hate Rupert Murdoch, ergo you hate all of News Limited publications - and any complaints you make of Winterbourn, who writes for Murdoch's WA's Wanneroo Times, are meaningless.
But he directly copied Wikipedia word for word.
Doesn't matter.
Without giving any credit.
Doesn't matter.
Why not?
Because you don't like Rupert Murdoch.
And how do you know that?
Because you just questioned one of his publications, conclusive proof.
I'd like to remind viewers that I have two Walkley Awards, a law degree, and a Medal of the Order of Australia, I don't need this shit. Next up, a spray moulded fake crocodile on Fraser Island confuses Queensland's Fraser Coast Chronicle. But let's skip over that, it was obviously just a subversive attack by communists to ridicule the Australian media.
Finally, the truth!