John says thanks to those who made a difference.

John Howard: "...but I cannot accept any credit for maintaining government for a decade without thanking the two groups that have been fundamental to this pursuit.

Firstly, the real reason the Liberal party keeps getting re-elected. Without further ado, I would like to express my sincere appreciation of the Labor party.

Under the guidance of Kim, the ALP has performed many tasks vital to the Liberal party’s continued control. I am grateful for their failure on economic issues – without which an entire quarter of our comments during question time would have to be dedicated to deriding something else. I thank them for recognizing it would take ghastly economic policy to make our mangling seem to resemble good management by comparison alone.

I thank them for remaining silent on issues of importance, and for following the headlines of the day that we have raised. This can be seen to this day by the starkly contrasting questions asked by the minor parties and independents, a continuous reminder of Labor’s dedication to continued coalition leadership.

I commend and appreciate their abilities to convince many, but not all, trade union organizations to actively support them, and with striking the correct balance between giving the appearance of a worker-friendly party, but without giving in to demands of welfare, social justice, or industrial relations savagery.

Of course, this extends fully to all areas of politics. Labor are indeed the true masters of illusion, where a carbon copy, a facsimile, appears contrary. Maintaining enough votes to keep the dangerous minor’s from reaching practicality, but not enough votes to form government, is an art worth appreciating.

I am grateful for a brilliant man, who, when faced with impending election, can practically destroy all of his chances of becoming prime minister with a single flick of a handshake, Mr Latham.

Secondly, as prime minister of Australia, and as a neo-conservative, I feel obliged to admit that many of our policies could not have been introduced, and many issues could not be hidden, without the actions of violent fundamentalists.

If pathetic opposition parties, such as Labor, and spineless barbaric terrorists, had carefully planned ways to provide and maintain power and control to parties like the Liberals, their actions would be no different than of those we see today. We are the, appreciative, benefactors.”

John Howard celebrated the evening with a large number of people who attended for the sole purpose of currying favour. Bob Brown also celebrated his 10 years in the senate, but with his actual friends.

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And from the ABC's AM program today:

"BOB BROWN: We're an opposition where very often the Labor Party provides none."

"BOB BROWN: I've sent John Howard a congratulations card, but I'm not holding my breath to get one back."

"...when I first got in here John Howard offered me a cup of tea and I went and saw him for an hour and I think he pretty quickly learnt he wasn't on the same wavelength with me. I've moved on from the 1950s, whereas he was still stuck there.

"But I'll offer him a cup of tea and have offered him a cup of tea in the card I've sent and we'll see. I'll keep him a piece of chocolate cake."

Available here - I recommend the mp3 - hilariously true comments.