No More Chocolate Salty Ones To Suckle On

In shocking news that has rocked the world of cartoon voice-acting, Isaac Hayes has quit the South Park team due to "inappropriate ridicule".

Chef.

A spokesman for The Coalition Against Inappropriate Ridicule of Christians, Canadians, Jews, Stereotypical Policemen, The Physically Disabled, Scientologists, Homosexuals, Promiscuous Mothers, Catholics, Hunters, Native Americans, Animal Welfare Societies, Extra-Terrestrials, Large Retail Corporations, The Obese, People With Lazy Eyes, Barbra Streisand, Latinos, The Mentally Handicapped, People with Parasitic Twins, Saddam Hussein, Hyperactive Children, Starving Third-Worlders, Russell Crowe, Women With Sagging Breasts, Those Who Find Pleasure In Inserting Creatures Into Themselves, Father Christmas, The Wealthy, Jarod Fogle, Hippies, Chinese Restaurant Owners, Religious Bands, Alcoholics, and Immigrants From The Future (or TCAIRoCCJSPTPDSHPMCHNAAWSETLRCTOPWLEBSLT- MHPwPTSHHCSTWRCWWSBTWFPIICITFCTWJFHCRORBAaIFTF for short) has stated that the series unfairly targets it's members, whilst failing to deride other aspects of society.

A spokesperson for the show remarked that there was "still time. Due to scheduling concerns and budget constraints, we have not been able to offend everyone through our current collection of episodes. We will endeavour to maintain that our show, in due course, will not discriminate by neglecting to disturb any particular category that a person might collate themselves into."

Isaac was paraphrased as suggesting that the poorly-animated comedy "was a universal resource for world-knowledge and education for the public, and as such, should be held accountable for inaccuracies - much like a history book or encyclopedia." That despite the prominant disclaimer that the shows content deems it inadvisable to be viewed by anyone, people cannot distinguish it from a documentary, text, reality, or peer-reviewed article.

"There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry toward religious beliefs and others begins," Hayes said in a statement issued through his spokesman in New York.

And that time occurs when the jokes on you, it seems.