Pro-intelligent-life

Unsure where to draw the line on what consitutes a person, Barnaby Joyce has decided that life does not even begin when sperm meets egg. "If a fertilized egg is a person, then the egg is half and the sperm is another half" explained the National Party member.

Discussions have been made with fertility clinics, and genetic scientists to adjust female ovary's in order to produce as many eggs as a male produces sperm. "It's complicated, but it can be done. Splicing human DNA with that of coral could work perfectly" claimed the head of Fertility Association of Australia.

"There were 254,200 babies born last year. Each of those births represents around 20 million half-person abortions. There are an incredible amount more, by those devil worshippers who don't give birth with each and every ejaculation. For catholics and other generic Christians, this is an abomination in God's eyes. The population of Australia will double within the first few seconds of the initial mothers giving birth."

"The main difficulty will be providing the means for these new 'super-mums' to work. 20 million babies gestating will make it awkward for a mother to perform the normal workplace activities that we expect from them. Ovals and other large open areas will be required for mothers to harbor children, and the foetus' themselves will most likely have to grow externally from the body, which can be done surgically."

Asked whether open areas filled with mothers, each with millions of umbilical cords attached to babies, like some sort of complicated electrical sub-station, would be a bit inappropriate, and that perhaps men should have their sperm count permantently lowered, or testicles removed altogether, he commented "now you're just being silly."