Headlines + rant.

Early humans had sex with chimps.
Child support payments flow from the jungle to the Bush family.

PM likens nuclear debate to GST.
"There will never, ever, be a Chernobyl event in Australia."

Shot fire at house narrowly misses baby.
Hits much more valuable house.
(Compare your mortgage to your families life insurance... See? Not such bad taste after all.)

Trapped miners felt like caged rats.
Rescuers arrested for entering private property and freeing them, accused of being ALF or PETA members, as is the norm.

Whale set free after three days.
Caught by whalers in five days, eaten by seven, digested by nine. More news at eleven.

Don't push me, says ACCC boss.
'Cause I'm close to the edge.

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OK, enough dodgy pseudo-funny headlines...

Liberals chase $8.4m war chest.

I like this story. Oh so very much. They need $8.4 million to fight the next state election, around $2 for every voter "prompting concern among some MPs about the party's "fund-raise or perish" mentality."

"the party's 31 sitting MPs have been ordered by party headquarters to raise $80,000 each for their local campaigns. Candidates have been set a target of $60,000."

"...traditional corporate support for the Victorian Liberals has drifted to Labor in recent years because of the Bracks Government's strong position."

"and state Liberal MPs have privately expressed concern about the pressure to raise money and the possibility that some business people could seek to take advantage of MPs and candidates by promising large donations in the hope of calling in favours later."

""If we are not careful we will finish up with pro-forma candidates … who are purely there because they have enough mates in the business world to grease their palms," a senior Liberal warned."

"Candidates have had to prove their fund-raising capabilities before winning preselection"

"The surge in fund-raising activity by both parties comes amid a warning by former Victorian auditor-general Ches Baragwanath that people would be naive to think big corporate donors would not "expect a return" for their support."

No Liberals were harmed during this reporting, because all of them commented anonymously. You brave souls.

Some might want for some end to this utter electroral shambles.. maybe a party that was capitalist-democracy-friendly (like the commies'd get the corpie dollar anyway), and had policies that ensured donations were subject to ethical review, were for general support and not particular purposes, and would push for publicly funded elections.

Sure they'd be run on a shoe-string budget, relying entirely on grass roots community/personal effort, sure they'd have many of those who depend on corruption throw everything at them, sure it would make candidates and members frustrated with the lack of resources..

But the blighters would never have a donors hand up their backside, and would consider the little guy with the vote just as high as the big guy with the wallet and the agenda.

Oh for such a party.... ......... !