The Exclusive Brethren

And the winner for the South Australian State Election Anti-Greens Campaign, the winner of which gets the significant honour of authorising pre-configured, highly-litigious, and grotesquely inaccurate (don't worry folks, you only get a slap on the wrist for this perversion of democracy) mass marketing campaign against what we all know as the one true democratic political party, the one threat to tyranny, The Greens.

The winner is..... *drum roll*... Well kiss my grits, The Exclusive Brethren! Come on down!

*fanfare*

EB: Wow. This is indeed an honour. What a great day for anti-democracy. I'd like to thank God, who is entirely responsible for everything. A bit shout to Kimmy and Johnny, where are you? *squints* There you are, table four, a big round of applause for table four. Without them, the sort of actions we are going to be attributed to being responsible for would have some sort of consequences.

In a fair society I mean. *roaring laughter*

Some of you may not know much about The Exclusive Brethren, so I will fill you in with a little history. We are a fundamentalist Christian group.

Much like terrorist groups, Al Qaeda, or the Taliban, our members don't believe in voting, computers, radio, mobiles or television. And much like the Amish, very few join our ranks from outside. And much like a cult, very few leave our ranks. And much like communists, men are called 'brothers', women 'sisters' - although from such an exclusive gene pool, the terms may actually apply. *roaring laughter* We meet once a day Monday to Saturday, and four to five times on Sunday.

We are a Christian sect, with accusations of spiritual abuse, but we will run a campaign of newspaper advertisements, and leaflets. This will be similar to the campaign in New Zealand, and in America. We know what needs to be done....


Moral note: Be very wary/afraid of anyone who tells you negative things about The Greens any political party if they are not actually an opposing party.

Fun fact: The Liberal Party admits to meetings with them before the election, but "to the best of their knowledge" denies it receives any funding from them.