If you'd just...

"If you'd just listened to the lefties you wouldn't have..." (No. 189.)





...had to torch your expensive gas-guzzling SUV, because you can't afford to fill it anymore, and had to resort to insurance fraud. You'd have a bicycle, hybrid, biodiesel, electric bicycle, motorcycle, or even a smaller car. You'd have more cash (unless you got a hybrid). You wouldn't be facing criminal charges and jail time when the arson squad in collaboration with the insurance company gets suspicious. You'd also be able to take corners at speed. Say "hi" to Bubba, learn your lesson, listen to lefties.