Easter

It’s Easter time.

Sure it’s a religious day, but there’s a four day weekend, an encouragement to eat round bits of chocolate, and everyone lies to children about magic bunny rabbits. What’s not to like?

They solve murders in Norway over Easter, as well as play Yahtzee. In Central Europe they have some freakish spanking ceremony – which I think should be extended to our culture.

But it’s really about that bohemian Jew, Jesus. When He died for the sins of man, and then came back to prove He really was the Messiah by visiting numerous reputable sources before flying away like Superman.

Jesus. The man that came down and to update the People Training Manual that God wrote. I think the Old Testament was a beta version or something, still had a few bugs in it – but as always, there was a rush to print. He must have been God’s secretary/sub-editor, and also His son. Probably a small family business I guess.

Anyway, he died for our sins. Which means two things:

1. He was executed for REALLLY trumped-up charges. For ALL the sins that will ever be committed? How could he be charged with things that were to occur millennia after his death?

2. There is only one person in Hell. Jesus. He died for our sins – all our sins are his to bear. He’s in Hell. With the devil. Playing poker.

We can honour this great martyr by:

1. Ensuring that trumped-up charges are never accepted ever again. Justice shall be a high priority, in His name.

2. Never worry about going to Hell. That would be tantamount to questioning Jesus’ commitment to dying for our sins. Maybe he skipped a few sins when filing the guilty plea? We might still go to Hell due to a clerical error on behalf of the Son of Man? I don’t think so – that’s blasphemy. I wouldn’t recommend committing sins willy nilly, just because the bar tab is paid in-full in advance, doesn’t mean become an alco' – it just means your concern about the price you’ll pay (in the afterlife) is no longer a concern.

So slack-off, spank, scoff, spin lies to children, and maybe, just maybe, do a little bit of sinning.