Jesusmas

Ahh, crap it’s here again, you finish work and get all excited… that lasts a few hours, then you stop being excited when you rack your brain trying to decide on gifts for people you care about, as well as those you don’t care for. In both cases, it needs to avoid giving the impression you

A) have no idea about what they already have
B) have no idea what they want
C) have no idea what they need
D) haven’t the slightest idea of their favourite hobbies, beverages, confectionary products, perfumes, novelty white goods, etc.
E) aren’t even sure of the persons age

Because if it does, you are a complete bastard of a human being, or something like that.

I got no beef with gift giving, and the general consumer whorage, I’m all for it. People want shit. Some people do find happiness in things, quite often children, and giving them less things once a year is not enough to change that. Unless it’s a Happiness For Dummies book or something. It sucks, but you can work around it.

Buying useful gifts is always my favourite – essential to survival, in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word? No. Maybe it’d make their lives a little easier, allow them to do things they couldn’t do before, whatever. I imagine people factor this in – they purposely don’t buy what they want for themselves, then get it as a gift. If they bought everything they wanted, then there would be no need for gifts, but what they own would have less emotional value. It adds romance and soul to objects, which is a good thing.

Although it sucks if you lose/break it/don’t water/plant the sucker and it dies.

I’m not too concerned about the commercialism of Christmas (best left to the devout, especially fundamentally, religious), I’m probably more irritated that presents have to mean something. It’s the thought that counts? Isn’t that just a nice way of saying you are going to be silently judged on some thoughtfulness scale rating based on the gift(s)? They still have to pretend they like it, that much is compulsory, but that’s not pleasant for all concerned, and entirely unnecessary.

In most cases I find out what people want, usually directly asking them or their partner. It spoils the surprise usually, but it beats the inherent risks.

In reality, the magic of Christmas is lost with age. Santa spices it up for the littl’uns, and there’s the chore-factor, but ultimately, we just don’t get as excited by anything as much. Like a knife, we dull over time.

‘Tis the season to be jolly? How does that work? Were we supposed to be miserable every other time? Shouldn’t there be four seasons to be jolly, or is the push for positive thought just to offset negativity experienced during this time?

And it’s not really about spending time with the people you love (especially not for those that have to work over Xmas) it’s about DNA. New Years is spent with the people (and beverages) you love - Christmas is spent with the people you or your partner share DNA with, there isn’t usually a lot of choice in the matter.

But I go to carols with the missus, I do enjoy the pretty flashing coloured houses, the smell of pine needles, giving and receiving presents. The secularised songs at council-endorsed carols are annoying – not because I’m particularly religious, more in the George-Lucas-reworking-the-music-in-Star-Wars-and-fudging-it-up way. Those songs were popular for a reason people, its OK to say ‘Jesus’, no one really cares.

Anyway, squeeze those smiles out regardless people, drink if your not driving, smile like you’re up to something, run like you stole something, make love not war, be good – if not, be careful, don’t worry, be happy, and my cliché database is now empty so I’ll just stop typing.

Have a merry JESUS’ BIRTHDAY PARTY (yeah, I said it, deal with it), and happy END OF NON-FISCAL GREGORIAN YEAR!!!!