Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Cliché's in check.

Mention his name, nickname(s), and age (always too young). CHECK.
Mention the manner in which he died, and the likelihood of those circumstances. CHECK.
Mention he died doing what he loved. CHECK.
Mention his persona, and how genuine it is. CHECK.
Mention the shock and/or denial of people he’s touched. CHECK.
Mention the misfortune of his wife/children. CHECK.
Mention any foreign well-known news outlets that have picked up the story. CHECK.
Tip-toe around but still mention how the risky lifestyle could affect mortality. CHECK.
Mention any good deeds he has committed (any tracts of land for conservation, etc – WARNING: do not mention conservation if you a conservative MP!) CHECK (Nice to go the “larrikin” angle to avoid that, you cunt-holes*)

Now that’s all fine, a bit too clichéd for my liking, but understandable, and expected.

BUT DO NOT FUCKING MENTION HIS IMPACT ON TOURISM, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? He was a great man, because… he helped us sell localised fucking teaspoons? THAT’S his legacy? “I bin to Nim-bin” novelty license plates? Shut the fuck up.

Oh, and the obligatory C****y word now is “Jeepers” until the pain goes away, or maybe never (whichever comes first.) And to certain non-mainstream email-based media outlets, THIS MEANS YOU. Jeepers.com.au is available, and I expect the domain transfer to begin shortly.

*With all due respect to literal cunt-holes.

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